For many, the thought of life’s final moments can seem frightening, wrapped in mystery and uncertainty. Yet those who work closely with the dying say that, in reality, the process is far more peaceful than most people imagine.

Dr. Kathryn Mannix, a palliative care physician and author of With the End in Mind, once explained in a TED Talk that d:eath is “just as much a process as the process of giving birth.” It unfolds naturally, with its own stages, rhythms, and emotions.

Following in that spirit of openness, Julie McFadden — known online as Nurse Julie — has spent over 16 years caring for patients in hospice. Her mission: to replace fear with understanding. In a candid conversation with NHS surgeon and podcaster Dr. Karan Rajan, she revealed that some patients seem to somehow “choose” the timing of their d:eath.

“They’ll say things like, ‘I’m going to d:ie after this date’ or ‘I’ll wait for my daughter’s wedding.’ I’ve even had a patient say, ‘I’m dying tonight,’ and then pass away — even though they weren’t actively dying,” she recalled, still astonished by the phenomenon.

Julie admits she has “no idea” how this happens. There are no medications or medical triggers involved — yet somehow, the body and mind seem to align in those moments.

The Four Most Common Phrases Before d:eath

Speaking to DailyMail.com, Nurse Julie explained that the reality of “final words” is often far simpler — and more heartfelt — than movie scripts suggest. Patients frequently express love, gratitude, forgiveness, or farewells, but rarely in a theatrical last breath.

The most common phrases she’s heard include:

• “I love you” — often whispered to a spouse, child, or close friend.
• “Thank you” — a quiet acknowledgment of care, presence, or a shared life.
• “I forgive you” / “Please forgive me” — a way to make peace before letting go.
• “Goodbye” — sometimes accompanied by a smile or gentle squeeze of the hand.

Calling Out to the Past

Another striking pattern is how patients often speak to people who have already passed — parents, siblings, or a long-lost partner. For bilingual individuals, Julie has noticed something even more intriguing: they sometimes revert to their first language, even if they haven’t spoken it in decades.

She described one case of a patient who had spoken only English for 50 years but began speaking exclusively in Italian during their final days. In other cases, people have switched to Yiddish, Polish, or another language from their childhood.

Sometimes, their words don’t seem to make sense to those around them. Phrases like “I just need to go home” may sound vague, but Julie believes “home” could refer to a spiritual destination, the afterlife, or a place of deep emotional comfort.

The Journey Mindset

Patients often speak as if preparing for a trip:

“I have to leave.”
“It’s time for me to go.”
“I’m going on a journey.”

Julie notes that these expressions may be the mind’s way of framing the transition in familiar terms — less as an ending, and more as a passage to somewhere else.

Final Reflections and Regrets

When it comes to regrets, Julie says many patients express deep gratitude for life but also share lessons they wish they had learned earlier. The most common? Not appreciating their health while they had it.

“We take so much for granted — being able to see, eat, swallow, walk, or live without pain. Many tell me they wish they’d valued those abilities more,” she said.

Others wish they hadn’t spent so much of their lives working, or — in the case of many women — regretted years spent worrying about weight or appearance instead of enjoying life.

In the end, Nurse Julie’s experiences remind us that our final words are rarely about drama — they’re about connection. Love, forgiveness, gratitude, and peace take center stage, leaving a legacy far more powerful than any scripted line.