Just air traffic control keeping us safe up here. But in the cockpit, Captain Mendoza isn't talking to air traffic control. He's talking to empty air. Every radio frequency shows green lights but broadcasts silence. Jenny, who's controlling our flight path?
According to this, autopilot is engaged and following the programmed route. What route? I never programmed a route like this. First officer Walsh points to the navigation display. Carlos, look at this.
The screen shows their flight path as a perfect spiral. They're flying in a massive circle over Chicago, like someone's flying them remotely. That's impossible. These planes don't work that way. Tell that to whoever's drawing pretty pictures with our aircraft.
Blake Morrison presses his call button aggressively. When Ashley doesn't appear immediately, he presses it again and again. Sir, what do you need? Ashley appears slightly out of breath. I need to speak to the captain.
This delay is costing me money. The captain's busy, Mr. Morrison. Then get me the air marshal or the CEO of this airline, someone with actual authority. Ashley wants to laugh. If Blake only knew who was sitting 30 rows behind him.
Sir, I need you to remain calm and stay seated. Calm? I'm perfectly calm. But when I'm paying first class prices, I expect first class service, not some budget airline experience. Ashley nods and walks away.
She's got real problems to deal with, like the fact that her supervisor just texted her. Legal says we have a discrimination lawsuit incoming. Passenger complaint about seating incident. Document everything. In seat 34B, Victoria opens a new application on her tablet.
The screen shows a live feed of news channels. CNN is already running a breaking news banner. United Flight 847 in emergency pattern over Chicago. She opens another window. Stock prices.
United Airlines down 4% in the last 10 minutes. Morrison Venture Capital down 7%. Investors are nervous when planes start flying in circles. Victoria opens a third window and begins typing a press release. Skylink Dynamics regrets to announce the temporary suspension of navigation services to United Airlines Flight 847.
This action was taken in response to documented discrimination against company executives. Service will resume upon satisfactory resolution of this matter. She doesn't publish it yet. That comes later. The plane levels off.
The intercom crackles to life again. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be in a holding pattern for a few more minutes while we resolve our technical issues. Flight attendants will be coming through the cabin with complimentary beverages. Thank you for your patience. Complimentary beverages, the universal airline apology.