A Psychologist Identifies Three Subtle Warning Signs That a Relationship May Be Ending

Relationships often begin with optimism, emotional closeness, and the belief that one has found “the one.” During the early stages, partners tend to focus on compatibility, shared dreams, and emotional security. However, even relationships that appear healthy on the surface can gradually deteriorate over time. According to psychologists, the end of a relationship is rarely sudden; instead, it is often preceded by subtle psychological and emotional shifts that go unnoticed or are actively ignored.

Psychologist Dr. Mark Travers, writing for Forbes, explains that many individuals assume their relationship is stable simply because there is no overt conflict. Yet research suggests that relationship dissatisfaction typically unfolds slowly. A 2025 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that most romantic relationships experience a phase known as “terminal decline” before a breakup occurs. During this phase, emotional connection weakens steadily, even if partners remain together outwardly.

While thoughts such as “Should I leave this relationship?” are often viewed as clear warning signs, Dr. Travers highlights that there are more understated indicators that may signal a relationship is approaching its end.

Sign 1: Feeling Relief When Imagining Life Without Your Partner

One of the most telling signs is experiencing a sense of relief—not sadness—when imagining life without one’s partner. Fantasizing about independence or emotional distance is not inherently harmful, but when such thoughts bring comfort rather than loss, it may indicate emotional disengagement.

According to Dr. Travers, even if individuals believe they would never act on these thoughts, the emotional shift itself is significant. Over time, this internal withdrawal can affect communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution. As emotional exhaustion sets in, individuals may unconsciously stop investing effort into the relationship.

He explains that partners in this stage often stop initiating meaningful conversations or attempting to repair unresolved issues. Rather than actively addressing problems, they conserve emotional energy by disengaging, which further accelerates the breakdown of the bond.

Sign 2: Persistent Exhaustion Without a Clear Cause

Another subtle but powerful indicator is chronic fatigue that cannot be explained by work, health issues, or external stressors. Dr. Travers emphasizes that this exhaustion is often emotional rather than physical.

In long-term relationships, individuals frequently engage in emotional labor, such as managing conflicts, suppressing frustrations, making compromises, or maintaining harmony. Over time, when this labor becomes unevenly distributed, it can significantly impact mental well-being.

A 2023 study published in Family Relations supports this observation, finding that emotional exhaustion in dual-income couples was strongly linked to imbalances in emotional labor rather than external pressures alone. When one partner consistently shoulders the emotional burden, the relationship may begin to feel draining instead of supportive.

Even in the absence of frequent arguments, unresolved emotional strain can accumulate, leading to feelings of detachment and burnout—often an early step toward separation.

Sign 3: Repeatedly Questioning Whether You Should Leave

Occasional doubts are normal in any long-term relationship. However, when the question “Should I leave?” arises repeatedly, it may signal a deeper issue. Dr. Travers notes that during the pre-breakup phase, individuals often weigh positive moments against growing dissatisfaction, past mistakes, or unmet expectations.

Importantly, there may be no dramatic event or obvious reason to leave. Instead, individuals begin to feel increasingly lonely within the relationship, perceiving themselves as the only one still making an effort. Over time, the absence of compelling reasons to stay becomes more emotionally significant than any single negative incident.

As Dr. Travers explains, when the question persists, it may no longer be a question at all—but an answer the individual is struggling to accept.

Understanding the Broader Psychological Context

Relationship researchers emphasize that emotional disengagement often precedes physical separation. Studies from institutions such as the American Psychological Association (APA) and The Gottman Institute consistently show that declining emotional responsiveness, imbalance in effort, and unresolved stress are strong predictors of relationship dissolution.

Recognizing these subtle signs early can provide individuals with an opportunity to seek counseling, improve communication, or make informed decisions about their emotional well-being. While not all relationships can or should be saved, awareness and reflection are critical in navigating relational health.

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Sources

• Travers, M. (2025). Forbes: Relationship psychology and emotional disengagement

• Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2025). Research on terminal decline in romantic relationships

• Family Relations (2023). Emotional labor and exhaustion in dual-earner couples

• American Psychological Association (APA). Relationship health and emotional well-being

• The Gottman Institute. Predictors of relationship stability and breakdown