I.
The gate was the first thing that was wrong.
I keep the side gate on a gravity latch and a carabiner, because Splice, my blue heeler, is eleven years old and has opinions about the mail carrier that his body can no longer back up. When I pulled into the driveway that Thursday afternoon in late September, back from three days at my sister's place in Temple, the gate was standing open about a foot and a half, and the carabiner was hanging from the fence board by a single zip tie, like somebody had wanted me to know they'd been considerate enough not to throw it in the grass.
There was a sheet of paper zip-tied to the gate, too. It was in a plastic sleeve, the kind you buy in packs of a hundred at an office supply store, and it had the Bluebonnet Trace Property Owners Association logo at the top, a little cartoon bluebonnet that somebody had paid a graphic designer real money for in 2014 and that the board had been defending ever since.
NOTICE OF SELF-HELP ACTION, it said.
Pursuant to Article IX, Section 9.3 of the Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions, the Association has removed the following items from Lot 47, Block C (418 Larkspur Bend), which were determined by the Board to be instrumental in the ongoing unauthorized consumption of Association electrical power:
1. One (1) battery-powered riding lawn mower with charger
2. One (1) chest freezer, white, approx. 15 cu. ft.
3. One (1) outdoor refrigerator, stainless
4. One (1) electric smoker
5. One (1) electric pressure washer