The color drained from Miller's face. Sergeant Davis's jaw tightened. The cynicism in his eyes was replaced by a flicker of genuine alarm. He looked from my face to the dead station, then back to the severed cable at his feet. The full weight of the situation was finally dawning on him.
This wasn't an inconvenience. It was a full-blown public safety emergency, delivered courtesy of a pair of gardening shears and a pathological obsession with petunias.
The inside of the Serenity Springs Police Substation smelled like stale coffee and desperation. A few green-glowing emergency lights cast long, spooky shadows across the room, illuminating desks covered in useless, dark-screened monitors and silent phones. It was a digital ghost town.
Sergeant Davis was pacing behind his desk, his personal cell phone pressed to his ear, his face a thundercloud.
"What do you mean you can't get a clear signal?" he roared into the phone. "I'm standing in the middle of Serenity Springs, not the dark side of the moon! No, I can't get on the computer and file a ticket! The computers are what's broken, you idiot!"
He slammed the phone down with a final, guttural curse.
Officer Miller, trying to be helpful, was just making things worse. He scurried over to the sergeant's desk, holding a notepad where he'd clearly been trying to write down what I'd told him.
"Sergeant," Miller began, his voice trembling slightly, "he says the optical terminal is unlinked, and the provider's main trunk has been terminated."
Davis glared at him. "Speak English, Miller, for the last time! Is it a bomb? Is it some kind of coordinated cyberattack? Terrorism?"
I had been lingering in the doorway, observing the beautiful chaos. I decided it was time to make my entrance.
"It's worse," I said, leaning against the doorframe. "It's bureaucracy combined with suburban madness. You've got a better chance of seeing God than you do of getting an ISP crew with fusion splicing equipment out here before Thursday."
They both turned to look at me. Davis's eyes were narrowed slits of pure frustration.
"And you are?" he growled.