I took a sip of coffee. "Well," I said, "at least she finally built something viral."
Miguel snorted. "You better lawyer up. She's not going to take this lying down."
He was right. By noon, I'd received two official notices: one from the HOA board accusing me of reckless endangerment, and another from Karen herself—a cease-and-desist letter written in Comic Sans. She'd CC'd the sheriff, the county inspector, and, for some reason, the local garden club. I printed it out and pinned it to my fridge like a trophy.
That afternoon, Karen marched down my gravel lane flanked by two HOA security officers wearing fluorescent vests and clipboards. They stopped at the start of the bridge, what was left of the concrete truck still being winched out by a recovery crew. Karen's face was red, her hair plastered to her forehead.
"You've destroyed community property, Mike!" she barked.
"Community property?" I asked. "Funny. I must have missed the part where the HOA paid to build this."
"This bridge services our development," she shot back. "You've endangered our residents!"
I pointed at the sign still bolted to the post: Private Bridge. Five-Ton Limit. "Your trucks endangered themselves."
Karen jabbed a manicured finger toward me. "You tampered with the structure!"
Miguel, standing behind me, said quietly, "Lady, he's the one who built it."
Karen ignored him. "You'll pay for this. The board has voted unanimously to fine you $25,000 for property damage."
I raised an eyebrow. "Property damage to my own property?"
She crossed her arms. "As president, I can assess penalties for actions that harm the community's value."
"Then maybe you should fine yourself," I said, "for flooding the creek with cement."
One of the HOA officers snorted and quickly pretended to cough. Karen spun around, glaring. "We'll see you in court, Mr. Carter!"
"Looking forward to it," I said. "Bring a bridge expert. You'll need one."
She stormed off, her entourage scrambling to keep up. Miguel chuckled once they were gone. "You poke the bear, she brings drones."
"I build a fence, she brings lawyers," I said. "Next step's probably tanks."