Within minutes, the neighborhood had gathered. Porch lights flicked on one by one, illuminating the gravel road and casting shadows across the pine trees. Voices carried through the cool night air: "What's going on out here?" "Was that a scream?" "Is she okay?"
They all converged at the scene, their flashlights forming a circle of interrogation. And right there in the middle of that circle was Karen, queen of her imaginary HOA, now reduced to a soaking, smoking mess.
I stepped forward, my boots crunching in the gravel—calm, collected, the way you walk when you know the truth is on your side. "Evening, everyone," I said, nodding at the crowd. "Looks like we had a little incident."
Karen staggered to her feet, wobbling like a newborn deer. Her face was red with fury, her hands trembling as she pointed at me. "He... he attacked me! He tried to electrocute me!"
Gasps rippled through the neighbors, but not the kind she wanted. No one rushed to her defense. They'd all seen her crouched over my generator, cable in hand, before the shock.
I tilted my head, feigning innocence. "Attacked you, Karen? You were trespassing on my property, stealing power from my generator. And then, well, let's just say it doesn't take kindly to intruders."
Laughter erupted from the back of the group. Old Tom, leaning on his cane, barked out, "Serves you right!" A few others chuckled nervously, covering their mouths.
Karen's eyes darted from face to face, desperate for support. But the more she pleaded, the more ridiculous she looked. Her once-perfect bob was now a frazzled halo, strands sticking straight out as if she'd rubbed her head on a wool sweater. Her clothes clung awkwardly with sweat, and the smell of singed fabric lingered in the air.
Diane finally found her voice. "Karen, maybe we should just go home."
"Home?" Karen screeched. "No! He can't get away with this! This is an attack on the HOA!"
"The what?" someone muttered from the crowd.
"The HOA!" Karen shouted, stomping her foot like a toddler. "The homeowners association! I'm the president!"
That did it. The crowd burst into open laughter. Someone clapped sarcastically. Another neighbor whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, "There's no HOA here, you lunatic."