What's going on our space fans today? We've got a few stories for you. One about a guy who doesn't need any advice and actually feels pretty good about himself and a couple who could probably use some thoughts and advice. Let's get into it. First off, I just left my wife and I feel 100 fine about it.
Ten years ago, I thought I had the perfect life. I had an upper six-figure job, a beautiful wife, a clean house, two new cars, and a child on the way. My job made me happy and I was good at it and the stability was great. My wife loved me for me and ignored my flaws as I tried to perfect them in return. I adored her and we seemed to be the perfect couple.
People would always compliment us and talk about how envious they were of our relationship and everything. It kept getting better. I kept getting promotions. The kids now three were born and we eventually moved from an ordinary house to an incredibly nice one. My wife was doing very well in her career optometrist and we took fun vacations every year.
Again, I thought I had it made. I don't know how this would have prompted it but in early 2015 I bought her a tesla for her birthday. She hadn't gotten a new car since 2008 and I kept getting new cars therefore I surprised her. She loved it loved me. I remember spending that entire day just taking rides in it and figure out how all the gadgets and icons worked.
It was complete downhill from there. I don't know how that would have triggered anything but in the months following she became increasingly distant from not only me but from her children. My oldest 10 female in particular felt hurt by this and would often try to ensue conversations with her mother in order to get her talking. Some days this would work and she would be pleasant others it would have had the opposite effect. The first time I suspected that I was no longer her man of choice was in july 2016 when I noticed she was no longer going to yoga classes but telling me she was.
We were on the same phone plan and part of that plan was we could see our locations of our phones. I was routinely browsing the app one day and noticed she appeared to be at someone's house. Since she had been irrationally angry that day prior to leaving I didn't question her about it when she got home from yoga. Instead I chose to closely observe where she went during her yoga times. It would always seem to end up at the same house a well-off neighborhood probably a step above ours a little north of town.
That's when I asked her are you cheating on me. Of course the answer was no. What followed in the weeks to come was distrust hatred and plain anger towards me. It was clear she knew I had caught on and was now trying to play the i can't believe you'd think this victim card but I knew I saw through it all. When she finally admitted she had seen and slept with another man that's when I made my mistake.
I forgave her. She told me she loved me she loved our family and in that moment I believed her. I thought she could change. I was wrong. We tried marriage therapy we tried taking adult days it seemed to work.
We were happy and she was genuinely having fun and it seemed like I had the old her back. I was relieved. This allowed me to pour more time into my kids and my work and have less stress overall. My business trip to san diego I live on the east coast usa was cut short. My colleague fell ill and our clients insisted that we reschedule it was a hassle but we caught the next flight out and returned home.
I'm not sure why I didn't tell her I was coming home but I just didn't. Maybe I wanted it to be a surprise. The only surprise I received when I pulled into the driveway was seeing a forward suv in my garage and finding not one but two men in my bed with my wife. This all happened yesterday. I'm finally putting it into words.
My wife started babbling when it happened desperately trying to explain. I heard none of it. I walked out of my room went to the basement and poured myself a drink. I could hear the men upstairs leaving and when I returned upstairs it was my wife sitting there closed with a sad smile on her face. She started talking but I wouldn't have it.
I told her to get out. I told her to get out of my house. I informed her that i'd get her stuff to her by the end of the week. She tried to pull the what about the kids bullcrap but I was just done. I'm sad but not for her.
I'm sad for my kids and I'm sad for whatever poor soul she meets next. I will fight hard for my kids but my biggest fear is losing them. I know the court will rule and incredibly in favor of mothers. I hope they realize that I've spent the last three years doing my best to mend a broken marriage for my family and nothing has worked. I told my kids this morning.
They asked why mom didn't spend the night last night. I didn't make them go to school today. They're all upstairs together. This whole situation is terrible for everyone involved. It could have been completely preventable.
I don't pity my wife. I hope that she has one label for the rest of her life cheater. I want her to follow her. I want people to know she is a prominent optometrist in our area. This could very well hurt her business if word spreads which it very well may.
Thought you should know a happy update. Greetings again not sure if you remember me but I posted here around two months ago with the story of how I caught my wife cheating and what it did to our family. I was incredibly distraught but as of july 13th 2018 our civil court case has officially concluded. It was a quick and easy process and I was victorious in everything. I'm not sure if this violates any rules so mods please feel free to remove but I figured since I received such positive support from my last post it would be my duty to post an update.
Please feel free to skip over the long paragraphs if you don't want to read. I'll post too long didn't read at the end. Two months ago I came home from a business trip to find my wife in bed with two men. This was after multiple years of her deliberately deceiving our family and I was foolish enough to take her back after I already caught her cheating with someone much older and much richer than me. After telling her to get out she became hostile and threatened to take my kids away from me.
I was beyond concerned at this point. I've heard horror stories in the courtrooms about mothers getting their way no matter what so I had no idea what to expect. I had to take time off from work this summer because I was consistently feeling sick and couldn't deal with the thought of my ex-wife watching over our children. If they grow up anything to be like her I'll consider myself a parental failure. I put in my plea for full custody and officially filed her divorce on may 21st 2018.
I hired a lawyer for my best friend at work who initially tried to do it all for free after he heard what happened but I simply wouldn't feel right and he hopped on the case. Together we went through my phone records her phone location records and gathered everything we possibly could to build our case. Court ceremony began on july 12th the week after my kids and I returned from our vacation. I did not take them out of state for my lawyer's advice but it was a good little distraction. My 10 year old daughter oldest seemed to be emotionally stable enough to answer some questions by both lawyers even after I requested her not to have to deal with this whole thing.
She stated how my ex-wife had been difficult and paranoid for the last year but she had learned to live with it which is something no child should have to experience. However the thing that tipped the ceremony was her announcement of moving to southern california which would mean kids would have to pick. All three of them picked me. Her lawyer tried to argue that I was sabotaging them influencing the kids to pick me over her but the answer was clear. They wanted to stay in the same house with the same friends in the same school.
The court ruled in favor of them living full time with me. They were permitted to visit their mother whenever they please as long as this day does not extend 14 days without me. In addition she is no longer allowed on my property and that includes our south carolina residence my plot of land in boulder and any one of the office buildings that my company operates out of. My parents and immediate relatives have also put in requests so that she does not enter any of their homes as well. Ultimately I'm completely relieved.
It's the least stressed I've been in the past three years. It's a little sad knowing my marriage failed but I realized I'm not responsible for that and I'm going to take these next couple of years to myself and devote my time to my children. Wow that was a sad story that ended up turning out for the best. Good job. Next up my girlfriend led me to believe I got her pregnant but I found out it wasn't mine after the birth and need support.
I've been on reddit a while and began lurking this sub when I first suspected my girlfriend was cheating. I'd hoped I wouldn't be here posting but here we are. I 28 male have been with my girlfriend 25 female for just about 2 years. The relationship was good and then she tells me she's pregnant. For the most part I'm careful and she said she was on birth control.
I was skeptical but went to an appointment. I then figured it was just one of those things. I always wanted a family so even though this was not how I wanted to begin I was overjoyed. We're past the first trimester and I have her move in at her insistence. Insert red flag i missed.
We're planning what we will do work wise and how to set up the baby's room. She is pretty insistent she will go back to work but be able to stay home. She swears she can make it work. I go to every appointment with her. Things are still good.
We're in the third trimester and I make my schedule work to still go to every appointment. Up until this point I had been at each appointment in its entirety. This one appointment she asks me to wait so she can talk to the doctor first. I'm super concerned that something is wrong with the baby and she didn't want me to hear. I go in and the checkup is done everything looks good.
My girlfriend brushes off my concern over why I couldn't be there for all of it. Another red flag. We're about a month and a half from the due date and I noticed her being kind of secretive with phone calls and texts. She tells me it's work and it's confidential etc. My antenna is now up so I try to get looks at her phone.
She's got snapchat and kik. I find it strange but don't confront her. The baby is born and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. The child is perfect and things went fine. Then comes the part where they want me to go on the birth certificate.
My girlfriend becomes really insistent about it. She's constantly asking me to do it and seems way more anxious than I've ever seen her. Here's the red flag i didn't miss. I don't do it. We have an argument but she stops pushing.
I think it's because she knows how suspect it looks already. We're home and she has to go tend to the baby. After I woke up I noticed she set her phone down to go to the baby. I couldn't help it and looked. It was still unlocked.
I started looking for texts or calls. I then find a whole conversation on kik with a guy. All the updates of her appointments pictures of her and the baby. Then I see it the place she says she thinks it's his child. I confront her and she apologizes.
She admits the baby could be mine or someone else but she thinks it's mine. I demand a paternity test and leave. It's been about a week since the confrontation. The results came in yesterday and the baby isn't mine. She's gone to live with her mother.
Here's the best part. It took me a lot of digging seeing is all I had were usernames. She talked to him too. The father is her boss. The secrecy was for him the boss with a wife and four kids in middle and high school.
I found the wife on facebook and sent her all I had including texts from my girlfriend saying it's his. I'm heartbroken in so many ways. I'm lucky in a lot of ways here but I'm so hurt. This has completely changed my whole outlook. I'm bitter angry and untrusting.
I have no idea how to recover from this. Next up my entitled sister wants to steal our deceased grandma's apartment out from under me so the guy she's cheating on her husband with can move in instead and she can see him easier. Just needed a place to complain because I'm upset so it's cool if nobody sees this. Replies sorry if you do read this and things make no sense. No promises to be coherent anyways.
Hold on to your hats and get ready for a train wreck fellas. My sister mid-thirties is probably the worst case of entitled I've ever seen. She's always the victim can do no wrong and the world owes her for her imaginary suffering. This time however she's reached a new freaking level. She's recently confessed to her mom and i that she started dating someone behind her husband's back.
And to be honest her husband is also a ginormous dirtbag but just leave the guy okay. I don't think anyone deserves to be cheated on and even though he totally freaking sucks an affair doesn't constitute as some kind of just punishment. It's messy gross and not worth it. Save everyone the extra headache. Now our grandma passed away at the end of august.
It hasn't even been a month since she passed and since she was terminally ill we did have time to discuss some things and make arrangements for others. She lived in an apartment that's attached to our mom's house and we had talked about me moving into it after grandma passed and everyone thought it was a good idea because my grandma had things like no slip railings kitchen tools gadgets for arthritic hands etc and I'm also disabled and could benefit from the same equipment. Come to find out my piece of crap sister thinks it'd be a cool idea to have her marital affair move into our mom's property instead so she can use our mom as some kind of cover for her affair and I am absolutely repulsed and livid.
We were all just starting to let my sister come around again because after grandma passed she seemed like it had really affected her and she was really turning over a new leaf but it's all because she wants her boyfriend to move in. I don't think anyone is going to fly with the idea. I just can't believe that she even thought it would be a viable option and something that she could even suggest to us. Why does she just assume that we'll help her cheat on her husband. I want no part of it.
I will not be an accomplice. Also her justification for suggesting he move in is because original poster doesn't seem to be in much of a rush to get up there. Like yeah I found our grandma deceased less than a month ago. Sorry I haven't been in a hurry to erase grandma from her home. Sorry I haven't been sorting through all of her belongings and getting them ready to be re-homed or donated.
I wish I could keep every trace of her and the fact that I have to get rid of anything at all hurts and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't done it yet but maybe try having a little freaking empathy. I've decided that I'm kicking my sister out of my life again. Each time I think she's capable of changing she shows that she's still the same horrible selfish person and I'm done falling for the charade. Have fun with the inevitable divorce proceedings.
Good luck explaining all this bullcrap to your kids too. Update there were so many good points made in last thread that my mom and i hadn't really thought of such as my sister potentially getting kicked out and needing somewhere to stay. Waiting until after I've moved to tell her husband about the affair ways to tell him etc and all these things have been taken into consideration. Moving forward my family and i have begun going through grandma's belongings and it's definitely been bittersweet because it hurts to see her things go and her existence dissipate even more but we've also found so many family photos and keepsakes and overall good memories.
I even found a box that belonged to my great grandpa and it had his pocket watch in a locket with a photo of my great grandma in it. My sister did manage to bully her way into the apartment for a few hours so she could pick out what keepsakes she wanted but jokes on her because i hit all the things grandma wouldn't have wanted her to take. She walked away with not much more than a decorative bowl. She is starting to drop the narrative that her boyfriend can move into the apartment now that she sees that we are serious about me being the new tenant but she did make some little comments that let me know that it's not forgotten.
She can plot all she wants though because we're installing a security system and changing locks so if she thinks she can sneak in or try to get her hands on anything else she is sadly mistaken. My mom and i have decided that after i'm all moved into the apartment we're going to tell our husband the truth about the affair and offer our support to him and the kids and do whatever we can to help whether it's emotional support babysitting whatever we can do to make things easier. When my sister's infidelity is brought to light my sister might hate us for it but at the end of the day she is the victim of her own actions and I'm tired of sparing her feelings so she can continue to treat everyone around her like absolute trash and my mom agrees that enough is enough.
And if we never hold her accountable for what she does she'll continue to push the limits of what she can get away with. Some people suggested going the anonymous route with tipping her husband off and while i thought that might have been a possibility ultimately i feel like that could cause some inner turmoil for him later if he didn't know his wife was cheating then who did and just how many other people knew. Was it something she kept out in the open when he wasn't around and nobody respected him enough to tell him personally. I don't want him to end up potentially torturing himself through speculation. Anyways i think that's all there is to tell you guys for now.
I just wanted to let you all know where some things have ended up and where they're headed and thank you for the outpouring of support it was much needed and very appreciated. I'm glad that i won't have to hold on to such a horrible ugly secret for much longer and her husband can know the truth and we will do what we can to help with the healing process.