"Long enough." He stood on the top step. He was taller than her by a head and he was aware of it, aware of the ice on his shoulders, of the weight of his tool belt, of how he must look coming out of the dark. He did not care. "Who's freezing? Where's Dell?"
"He's inside."
"He threw a coat in a river? What coat? The green one? He lost the green one. He left it on the bus."
"He didn't leave it on the bus."
"Then what — " He stopped. He was having trouble making the words line up. "You've had him in a hoodie? Since October? In this? I thought — I saw him in it, I thought it was — I thought he had the coat on underneath, or — Jesus, Gudrun, I've been gone, I've been — "
"I know you've been gone."
"And you just let him? You decided he can freeze because he's not yours?"
"That's not what I — " She stopped. She took a breath. Dell, behind the woodbox, could see her chest go up and down. "That's what I said. You heard me. I said it. I'm not going to tell you I didn't say it."
"Why?"
She did not answer.
Rasmus took a step toward her. Not a big step. Not threatening, he would tell himself later, and it was true, it was not. It was the step a man takes when the floor has gone soft under him and he is looking for somewhere solid to put his foot. "Why would you say that? About my kid? About Freya's kid? Gudrun, I need you to — "
"Dad."
They both turned.
Dell stood up behind the woodbox. He had meant to stand up quickly, but his legs did not work right; they had gone stiff and strange, and he had to put a hand on the siding and push himself up, and when he got there he swayed a little. He did not know what he looked like. He found out later. He found out from Pekka, who told him, two years afterward, on a fishing trip, that when Gudrun brought him inside and pulled the hoodie off him under the lantern, his lips had been the color of a plum, and Pekka had thought for a second that he was dead.
"Dell," his father said. "Oh, God. Dell."
"She didn't do it," Dell said. His teeth were going. It was hard to get it out. "She didn't make me. I came out. I came out myself."
His father was across the porch before Dell saw him move. He was down on one knee on the icy boards and he had his big hands on Dell's face, on his ears, on his neck under the hood, and his hands were cold too, they were wet and cold from the ice, but under the cold they were burning, and his face in the dark was close and enormous and terrified.