D-Day was 10 days ago, January 29th. I won't forget that day now either, because the day after was our anniversary.
Since then, I have been reading a lot of posts on this sub. It has been helpful to know I'm not the only one. Now I'm thinking posting what happened will help me out. It's going to be a long one because I think details matter, and I've been playing it over and over in my head every day.
Our Story
Been with my wife 29 years, married 26. I'm 51 male, her 49 female. Two grown kids, 24 male and 22 female.
Met in college, dated, fell in love, married, and thought—what I believed was—a great marriage. Did a lot of things together, talked all the time, communicated about things that were troublesome. Both of us had successful careers that we both supported each other in, and along the way, a great love life—maybe not as often as when we were younger, but just as passionate.
She's in IT, and I own a small landscaping company that employs 75 people that I started after graduation. She's been working from home a lot since COVID, and we have been talking about my easing out of the day-to-day operations and her going part-time so we can spend more time together and travel, etc., now that the kids are established.
Looking back, there were no red flags that I've read so much about: no weird texting, no guarding her phone, no clothing changes, no unusual behavior, no nights out with people from work. When she did go out, it was friends and family, and I always heard from someone the next day how I should have come, but I wanted her to go out without me, and I enjoyed being by myself doing stuff in my shop. She always was home early.
To say I was blindsided is an understatement.
D-Day
The week before, I had booked a weekend at a romantic bed and breakfast owned by some friends; our state's open winter festival was that weekend. I leave work early to surprise her and tell her to pack a bag, we're going away for our anniversary.