Emma looked back toward the fountain where Charles still stood with Beatrice. Even from here she could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he held himself like a man enduring torture. When I was seven, Emma said quietly, my world fell apart. Everything I knew, my home, my name, my future, it all disappeared overnight. And in the middle of that chaos, there was a boy. A sad, angry boy who made me laugh, who listened to me, who made me feel like I mattered. Charles, Charlotte said softly.
Charles. And I loved him the way children love. Completely. Innocently. Without reservation. I told him I'd marry him someday, and he said he'd remember. Emma's voice cracked slightly. Then I left. And for 18 years, I convinced myself it was just a childhood memory. That whatever we'd had was too small and fragile to survive reality. But it wasn't. No, it wasn't.
Emma turned back to Charlotte, tears burning behind her eyes. The moment I saw him again, it was like, like coming home after being lost for 18 years. Like finding a piece of myself I didn't know was missing. And I know it's foolish. I know it can't last. I know he'll marry her and I'll leave and we'll both have to learn to live with that. But for 6 weeks, her voice broke. For 6 weeks, I get to feel like I belong somewhere. Like someone sees me. Really sees me. And that's worth whatever pain comes after.
Charlotte's eyes were suspiciously bright. Oh, Emma. You're in love with him. I know. And he's in love with you. I know that, too. Then why? Because love isn't enough. Not in this world. Not for people like us. Emma wiped at her eyes roughly. He has responsibilities. People who depend on him. A legacy to protect. And I have nothing to offer except my heart, which as it turns out isn't worth very much in the marriage market.
That's not true. Isn't it? Look at what Beatrice offers him. Wealth. Status. Political connections. What do I offer? Scandal. Complications. A past he'd have to defend every day for the rest of his life. Emma shook her head. He'd be destroying himself to have me, and I love him too much to let him do that. Charlotte was quiet for a long moment. When she spoke, her voice was gentle. You're very brave. And very foolish. And I think you might be the most romantic person I've ever met.
Romance is for people with options. I'm just trying to survive. Then survive with dignity. Don't let Beatrice see you break. I'll try. They walked in silence through the winter-bare rose garden, the thorny branches stripped of beauty but still somehow elegant. Emma felt hollowed out, emptied by the confession, but also strangely lighter. Thank you, she said quietly. For listening. For not judging.
I'm the last person who would judge. Charlotte smiled sadly. I know what it's like to want something you can't have. To love someone the world says is wrong for you. We're more alike than you think, Emma Ashford. Before Emma could ask what she meant, voices drifted from the path ahead. Male voices, low and serious. Can't continue like this, Charles. I'm handling it. Are you? Because from where I'm standing, you're barely holding yourself together.
Emma recognized the second voice. Lord Thornhill, Charles's friend from the New Year's Ball. She and Charlotte froze, hidden by a hedge. I'm doing my duty, Charles said tightly. Exactly as expected. Duty be damned. You’re miserable. More miserable than I've ever seen you. What would you have me do, Ben? Break the engagement? Humiliate Beatrice? Destroy the alliance that will save the estate? I'd have you choose yourself for once in your bloody life.
A pause. Then Charles's voice, so quiet Emma almost didn't hear it. I can't. Too many people depend on this marriage. And what about you? What about what you need? What I need doesn't matter. Like hell it doesn't. Charles, Thornhill's voice softened. I've known you since we were boys. I've watched you bury every emotion, every desire, every piece of yourself that didn't fit the mold your father created. And you've survived it. But surviving isn't living, Charles. And that woman, Emma, she makes you live. I can see it in you. For the first time in years, you're alive.