She scoffed. "Oh, please. You think pictures will scare me?"
"No," I said calmly. "But they will help the police."
Her lips parted in horror. "Police? You wouldn't dare."
"Oh, I dare."
I dialed dispatch—not 911, just non-emergency—and requested a deputy respond for unlawful immobilization of a vehicle. Since I was off-duty and involved personally, I couldn't handle it myself; policy is policy.
Karen panicked. "You... you're weaponizing law enforcement! This is harassment!"
I pointed to the clamp. "You immobilized a government asset."
Before she could argue, a familiar patrol cruiser rolled into view. Deputy Hernandez stepped out, took one look at the clamp, then turned to me with an expression that said: Not again.
"Morning, Sheriff," he said under his breath.
"Karen," I confirmed.
Karen threw her hands up. "Finally, someone reasonable! Officer, arrest him for refusing to follow HOA impoundment protocol!"
Hernandez stared at her for a long moment. "Ma'am, there is no HOA impoundment protocol."
"There should be!" she shouted.
"That's not how laws work," he replied.
She jabbed her pen toward the clamp. "This vehicle is out of compliance! I tried the master key—"
"Stop," I said, raising a finger. "Do not confess to more crimes."
Hernandez sighed and pulled out his pad. "Ma'am, did you place this device on the sheriff's truck?"
"I issued a lawful community corrective action!"
"Did you buy this online?"