"Ma'am," one of the tow operators interrupted, "this trench looks engineered. You sure this wasn't here before you drove through?"
"Of course it wasn't!" she snapped. "This lunatic built it to hurt me!"
The man gave me a look—the kind mechanics reserve for customers who argue with gravity. "Lady, I don't know what you did, but this ground's solid. You ain't getting this SUV out without lifting it."
Clare stomped the mud with her boot. "Then lift it!"
So they did. The crane roared to life. Chains rattled, mud flew. Every time the rig tightened, the car groaned like it was begging for mercy. For a brief moment, the front end began to rise. Then the rear wheels slipped, sending the whole setup jerking sideways.
"Cut the tension! Cut it!" one of the workers shouted.
The chain snapped loose with a metallic whip that made everyone duck. Mud splattered across Clare's jacket. Derek choked back a laugh that sounded suspiciously like a cough.
"Lady," the driver said, wiping his face, "this job's going to need a full hydraulic lift or a damn miracle."
Clare's response was another scream. Not a normal one—it came from somewhere primal: a mix of rage, humiliation, and disbelief. She hurled her phone into the mud, then immediately gasped like she'd thrown her own child.
"Derek," I whispered, "you think we should tell her there's cameras watching all this?"
"Absolutely not," he said. "You don't interrupt divine comedy."
From the barn roof, the trail cameras blinked silently: two perfect little witnesses capturing every moment in crisp 4K.
After an hour of chaos, the tow crew finally gave up. The lead guy tossed his gloves into the truck and said, "Ma'am, we'll come back after the ground dries. You're fighting Mother Nature right now, and she's winning."
Clare stared at the SUV, chest heaving. Then she turned to me, her eyes narrow as a snake's. "Enjoy your little victory, Brandon. You think this is over? You have no idea who you're dealing with."
I raised my mug again. "Apparently, a woman who can't read road signs."
Her nostrils flared. "You're going to jail for this!"