"The vote?" I asked, looking around. "On what, exactly?"
She smiled sweetly, as if she were explaining something to a slow child. "On integrating your road as a shared access point. We're all neighbors here, and the HOA board believes community connectivity is essential for harmony."
"Clare," I said slowly, "you're standing on private land."
"Oh, don't be silly," she laughed. "The board already agreed this portion is part of the common easement. We're just finalizing it democratically."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing: a democratic vote to take my road.
"You can't just vote on someone else's property," I said, half-laughing, half-fuming.
She gave me that syrupy tone again. "Well, actually, Brandon, the HOA charter allows us to make recommendations that align with community needs. Once we file a motion with the county, it's just a matter of formality."
"Formality?" I repeated, staring at her like she'd grown a second head. "You think you can just declare ownership because it's convenient?"
"Not ownership," she corrected, tapping her clipboard. "Integration."
Behind her, a few HOA members nodded solemnly, sipping their coffees like they were witnessing a spiritual ceremony. That's when I knew Clare wasn't just delusional; she was dangerous.
I told her plainly, "If you or anyone else sets foot on this road again without my say-so, you'll be trespassing, and the sheriff will hear about it."
She smiled as if I'd complimented her outfit. "Oh, Brandon, you really should relax more. You're letting negativity cloud your energy."
I took a deep breath and pointed toward the banner. "Take this circus off my property before I do it for you."
There was a tense silence, the kind that hangs between lightning and thunder. Then she said softly, "You'll regret not cooperating with the community."
I laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. It was the kind that comes from someone who's just realized they're living next to a lunatic.
That night, the letter came. This one wasn't just printed in Comic Sans; it was color-coded, laminated, and signed with Clare's flourish and her little signature smiley face: