Health 31/07/2025 09:48

If you see a purple butterfly sticker near a newborn, it's a heartbreaking meaning behind it

The purple butterfly is a way to gently open the door to awareness, giving space for acknowledgment without requiring painful conversations.

Sometimes the smallest symbols carry the deepest meanings — and in neonatal units around the world, a simple purple butterfly sticker has come to represent a story of love, loss, and hope.

This symbol was born from heartbreak, but its presence is a quiet tribute to babies who couldn’t stay and the parents who hold their memories forever.

The Joy of Expecting — and the Devastating News That Followed

Millie Smith and Lewis Cann were filled with joy upon discovering they were going to be parents. With a family history of twins, Millie had a strong maternal intuition that she was carrying two babies — and her instincts proved correct. An early ultrasound confirmed she was expecting twins.

But their joy quickly turned into heartbreak when doctors delivered devastating news: one of the twins had a fatal condition.

“Even at the beginning of the pregnancy, doctors could determine that one of the babies wasn’t likely to survive.”

The baby was diagnosed with anencephaly, a rare and serious condition where parts of the brain and skull do not develop properly. Most babies with anencephaly do not survive more than a few hours after birth.

Despite the crushing news, Millie and Lewis made the difficult yet meaningful choice to carry the pregnancy as long as possible, hoping to give their daughters time together in the womb.

A Name That Carries Her Spirit

At just 30 weeks, Millie gave birth to two girls. They were informed that one of the twins — the baby with anencephaly — would likely live only minutes or hours. With that in mind, they chose to name her before saying goodbye.

“We knew that Skye needed to have a name before she was born,” Millie said. “Knowing she would only survive for seconds or minutes, I wanted her to be named during that time.”

The name Skye was chosen with purpose — it symbolized the idea that she would always be somewhere they could look up to. “Somewhere we knew she would always be, that we could look up at the sky and remember our baby.”

Skye lived for just three hours. In those brief, precious moments, her parents cuddled her, admired her tiny features, and created memories they would carry for the rest of their lives.

“We were cuddling Skye when she passed away. This was the worst moment in our lives. I have never ever felt heartbreak like that before. But I am proud that she fought for so long to spend time with us.”

Grief in Silence and Isolation

After Skye’s passing, the hospital staff did their best to support the grieving parents. A bereavement midwife and access to a Daisy Room — a private space where families can spend time with their baby before and after death — offered some comfort. But as the days turned into weeks, Millie began to feel that her loss was becoming invisible.

While her surviving daughter Callie remained in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), the focus shifted solely to her. Very few around Millie acknowledged Skye’s short but significant life.

“Most of the nurses were aware of what had happened, but as time passed, people stopped talking about Skye. After about four weeks, everyone acted as though nothing had happened, meaning the families around me had no idea about our situation.”

Then came a moment that crushed her. Another mother of twins, unaware of Millie’s loss, joked that Millie was “lucky” not to have two newborns to manage.

“None of the other parents knew what had happened or anything about Skye. The comment was completely innocent and more out of humor…They weren’t to know that I did at one point have two,” Millie said. “But the comment nearly broke me. I ran out [of] the room in tears and they had no idea why. I didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened. A simple sticker would have avoided that entire situation.”

The Birth of the Purple Butterfly Initiative

In the aftermath of that emotional moment, Millie knew something needed to change. Parents who had lost one or more babies in a multiple birth needed a gentle, nonverbal way to let others know — not for pity, but to avoid triggering reminders of their loss.

That’s when she came up with the idea of placing a purple butterfly sticker on the incubators or cribs.

“I chose butterflies, as I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, the color purple because it is suitable for both boys or girls,” she explained.

It was a subtle, compassionate way to communicate something deeply personal. The idea quickly resonated with others who had experienced similar grief.

What began as a small gesture has now grown into a broader movement — a beacon of empathy in hospitals worldwide.

From Symbol to Global Support: The Skye High Foundation

Millie’s idea has since evolved into a charitable organization known as The Skye High Foundation. Its mission is to raise awareness, provide support to bereaved families, and help hospitals implement the Purple Butterfly Initiative.

Today, more and more hospitals around the world are using these gentle visual cues to support grieving families. Nurses, midwives, and fellow parents alike are learning what the symbol means — and adjusting their words and actions with greater sensitivity.

The foundation also offers a range of purple butterfly merchandise, including keepsakes, clothing, and accessories. These are not just items — they’re ways for families to remember the babies they lost and feel seen in their grief.

The purple butterfly initiative is now a globally recognized symbol of remembrance, love, and compassion. And its impact is profound: it has spared countless parents from having to explain their pain over and over again, and allowed them to honor the children they carry forever in their hearts.

Why Awareness Matters

Not all wounds are visible. For parents who lose one child while caring for another, their grief can be incredibly isolating. The purple butterfly is a way to gently open the door to awareness, giving space for acknowledgment without requiring painful conversations.

So the next time you see a purple butterfly sticker near a newborn or on a hospital crib, you’ll know what it means. It's not just a decorative element. It's a symbol of a life lost too soon — and a reminder to approach others with empathy and care.

What started as one mother’s act of love for her daughter Skye is now bringing comfort and understanding to families around the world.

 

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