According to a Psychologist, Narcissists Always Display This One Trait. Here’s What to Do If You See It

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) manifests in a multitude of ways, often leading to confusion and distress for those involved. Psychologist Kathleen Saxton emphasizes the importance of understanding the signs and steering clear of any tendencies narcissists display. “The criteria for being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder is a wide spectrum… around 0.5%–1% of people will be formally diagnosed, but the number of people with narcissism is growing.”

Narcissists 101

Despite its prevalence, NPD remains widely misunderstood and misused as a term. Saxton stresses the need for vigilance in identifying behaviors linked to narcissism, especially in interpersonal relationships where manipulation can be subtle yet extremely damaging [1]. A hallmark trait of narcissists, as noted by Saxton, is their method of withholding attention and affection as a means to control their partner. This tactic is frequently employed during the early, "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, involving over-the-top displays of affection followed by a sudden withdrawal and indifference. Victims often find themselves trapped in a love-bombing/emotional neglect cycle, struggling to reconcile their partner's hot and cold behavior [2].

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The Manipulation Tactics of Narcissists

Stonewalling, the silent treatment, withdrawing affection, and unexpectedly disappearing without explanation are common techniques designed to inflict emotional pain and assert a feeling of need. Research suggests that these forms of withholding can activate the same parts of the brain as those involved in physical pain, demonstrating the profound impact these behaviors can have on victims.

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Reclaiming Power

Despite these challenges, victims have the opportunity to reclaim their power from narcissists. It is crucial to plan a safe exit strategy during these withdrawal periods, preparing to leave without alerting the narcissist. Seeking legal advice, establishing financial independence, and building emotional support networks are excellent ways to lower the risk of retaliation and manipulation from an abusive partner.

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Practice Self-Care and Productivity

When narcissists begin withholding affection, you can use this as an opportunity for self-care and personal growth. Engaging in meditation, exercise, and reaching out to your support networks can help combat the biochemical addiction while fostering resilience and self-esteem—a win-win situation. By redirecting focus to more constructive pursuits, survivors can diminish the narcissist’s hold while strengthening their own well-being.

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Painful Lessons for Future Empowerment

Surviving abuse from narcissists can offer insight into better identifying and avoiding toxic relationships in the future (though this is not a reason to enter one). Recognizing early warning signs will help in setting firm boundaries, enabling survivors to better protect themselves from further harm. While not an ideal path to learning, the painful lessons from a narcissistic relationship can empower individuals to build future connections based on mutual respect and authenticity.

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Relationships with Narcissists: Dos and Don’ts

It is important to adopt effective coping mechanisms when interacting with narcissists. Becoming familiar with NPD and its signs, seeking therapy, and focusing on personal growth are all critical steps in understanding and addressing narcissistic dynamics [3].

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Impact of Stress on Narcissism

Research indicates that narcissists, especially those with vulnerable narcissism, experience heightened stress responses. Vulnerable narcissists exhibit stronger emotional and physiological reactivity to stress, including elevated cortisol levels and negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, and shame when confronted with social evaluation or setbacks. This contrasts with grandiose narcissists, who tend to have blunted cortisol responses and may show more resilience or less perceived stress, sometimes even displaying positive affect after stress. However, both types of narcissism are linked to increased stress, with vulnerable narcissists being more sensitive and reactive, possibly due to their fragile egos and underlying insecurity. This stress can reinforce their grandiosity as a coping mechanism, masking deep insecurity and increasing their overall stress burden, which may predispose them to various health problems such as cardiovascular disease and depression.

Ashwagandha as a Natural Aid for Stress in Narcissism

Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) is a well-known adaptogenic herb in naturopathic medicine, widely used to help manage stress and anxiety. It works by modulating the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which regulates cortisol secretion—the primary stress hormone. By promoting a balanced cortisol response, ashwagandha helps reduce the harmful effects of chronic stress on the body and mind.

Clinical studies have shown that ashwagandha supplementation can significantly lower cortisol levels, reduce subjective stress and anxiety, and improve sleep quality and fatigue. The active compounds in ashwagandha, such as withanolides and sitoindosides, exert calming effects by enhancing neurotransmitter activity, including increasing GABAergic transmission and modulating serotonin levels, both of which contribute to mood stabilization and reduced anxiety [4, 5, 6].

Integrating Ashwagandha in Managing Stress-Related Narcissism

Given that narcissistic individuals, particularly those with vulnerable narcissism, experience elevated stress and cortisol levels, ashwagandha may be beneficial in supporting their stress management. By lowering cortisol and promoting emotional calm, ashwagandha could help reduce the physiological and psychological stress reactivity that exacerbates narcissistic vulnerabilities. This may aid in improving mood stability and resilience, potentially mitigating some of the negative health outcomes associated with chronic stress in narcissism.

Stress contributes to the development and maintenance of narcissistic traits, especially the vulnerable subtype, by increasing cortisol and emotional reactivity. Ashwagandha, through its adaptogenic and neurochemical effects, offers a promising natural intervention to help manage this stress, supporting both mental and physical health in individuals prone to narcissistic stress responses.

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Conclusion

By recognizing the signs of narcissism and employing proactive strategies for self-care and empowerment, you can break free from the cycle of abuse. Cultivating fulfilling connections is what having a partner is truly about.

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