"You left me to sleep with other people. I moved on."
"But I came back. I chose you."
"You chose me because you ran out of better options."
She started crying harder. Begging me to reconsider, saying we could work through this together, that the baby needed a father.
But I just felt tired. Tired of being someone's second choice. Tired of being the safe option when everything else falls apart.
I told her she needed to leave. That I hoped she figured things out, but it would not be with me.
Now I am sitting here wondering if I made the right choice.
Part of me feels guilty. She is pregnant and scared, and we did have 5 years together. But a bigger part of me knows that taking her back would be going backwards, to a relationship where I was never really chosen first.
Sloan and I have been talking about moving in together, maybe buying a house. She makes me feel like I am somebody worth choosing, not just somebody worth settling for when nothing better works out.
I keep thinking about what Ryker said months ago. The right person does not need to shop around to know they want you.
Maybe I am cold-hearted. Maybe I should be more forgiving. But I spent too many months learning to value myself to go back to being someone's backup plan now.
Edit: For everyone asking, yes, I am absolutely sure the baby is not mine. We broke up in March. She is 4 months pregnant now, and we had not slept together for weeks before she left, because she said she needed "emotional space to prepare for her exploration."
Edit 2: I know some people think I should help her because it is the right thing to do. But helping someone and being their fallback option are different things. I hope she finds what she needs, but it is not going to be with me.
Update 1: Well, Nia did not take rejection well. What happened over the past 2 weeks has shown me just how much I dodged a bullet by not taking her back.
First, she started showing up at my work. Not just once or twice. Every other day, parking across the street from the shop and waiting for me to come outside.
When I would see her and walk the other direction, she would follow me, crying and begging me to just talk to her for 5 minutes.
Ryker finally had to tell her that if she did not stop harassing me at work, we'd call the cops.
That is when she shifted tactics and started going after Sloan.