"You were just my backup plan in case you flaked," she said without shame.
So, I quietly cut all contact, blocked her, and vanished. A year later, she saw me with the woman who chose me first and realized too late what she lost.I used to think love was about showing up, being consistent, doing the little things right even when no one noticed. I thought that if you were loyal, supportive, and emotionally available, you'd eventually be valued for it.That was before Jess.I met Jess at a mutual friend's birthday dinner. She was sitting across from me: red lipstick, sarcastic smile, and a look like she'd already decided she was too good for the room. I wasn't her type, not at first. She told me later she usually went for edgy guys, whatever that meant. But I was steady. I listened when she talked, remembered things she said, and I never tried to impress her with anything fake. Eventually, she called me refreshing.We started seeing each other casually, but within a few months, it turned into more. By the end of the year, we were spending most nights together. She moved into my apartment during the lockdowns—said it was temporary, but three months turned into two years.Jess was magnetic in public; people gravitated toward her. She made friends quickly, flirted effortlessly, and always had a story to tell. I was the opposite. I kept my circle tight. I focused on my job, my goals, and staying grounded. Still, I loved her—or at least, I loved the version of her I thought was real.I used to do things for her that now seem insane. I helped her land a new job after she got fired from her retail gig, spent a weekend redoing her resume and prepping her for interviews. I paid off her $1,200 credit card debt once when her interest rate ballooned. She called me "my sweet little finance hero." I laughed, thinking it was affectionate. She used to say I was too nice for my own good, that I didn't get mad even when I should. At the time, I wore that like a badge of honor; I thought it meant I was emotionally mature. Looking back, it meant she didn't take me seriously.The first red flag I ignored was Ryan.