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"You Were Just My Backup Plan in Case He Flaked," She Said Without Shame

"You Were Just My Backup Plan in Case He Flaked," She Said Without Shame

Chapter 2

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Ryan was her old friend, the kind she used to hook up with, but it never got serious. He lived in another city, allegedly had a girlfriend, but they kept in touch through Instagram and the occasional FaceTime. I brought it up once, gently, and she snapped: "I'm not cutting people off just because you're insecure."So, I backed off. I didn't want to be that guy: controlling, jealous, overbearing. I told myself it was fine, that if she was with me, it meant something.But slowly, little cracks started to form. She got weird about her phone, started taking calls in the bathroom. Her texts got shorter, her laughs more forced. We'd be watching something on Netflix, and she'd be scrolling through her feed, half-engaged.Once, when I asked her what was going on, she shrugged and said, "Honestly, I just feel like I'm stuck in a routine. Like, we're in this pattern, and sometimes I wonder if we're just comfortable, not passionate."I should have seen it coming.The real wake-up call came at her friend Megan's place. We were there for a casual get-together—just six or seven people, wine, charcuterie, background music. I stepped outside to take a call from my mom, and when I came back in, I heard Megan say:"So, are you going to tell him what's going on with Ryan, or just hope it fizzles again?"I froze in the hallway. I couldn't see them, but I could hear Jess sigh:"Not yet. There's no point if Ryan disappears again like last time. But if he sticks around this time, I'm done pretending."The words hit like a punch in the stomach.I walked back into the room casually, pretending I didn't hear anything. She looked up and smiled at me, completely unaware. I smiled back, didn't say a word.I didn't sleep much that night. My brain wouldn't shut off. I kept replaying the conversation, wondering how much of the past year had been a lie, wondering if she ever actually loved me, or if I was just convenient.I didn't confront her right away. I wanted to be sure. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it was just talk. But deep down, I already knew.A few days later, I got confirmation, but not in the way I expected. She was in the kitchen cooking something while FaceTiming Megan. Her phone was propped up on the counter, and she didn't realize I had walked in."Look," she said, twirling her hair, "I always liked Ryan more. I only stuck with him because Ryan kept ghosting me. But now that Ryan's back, I'm not going to miss my chance over a backup plan."
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"You Were Just My Backup Plan in Case He Flaked," She Said Without Shame

10 Part