Eli already knew enough.
"Who told you?"
"Mom."
"When?"
"When I was sick."
Nathan looked down.
Of course.
The child had learned before him too.
Eli asked, "Does that mean you're not my dad?"
Nathan looked at his son.
No hesitation this time.
"No."
Eli stared.
Nathan repeated.
"No."
"But Daniel said biology—"
"Listen to me."
Nathan leaned closer.
"Matthew Reeves helped make you."
The words hurt.
"But I am your dad."
Eli's lower lip trembled.
"Still?"
Nathan's eyes filled.
"Always."
Eli hugged him.
Nathan held him.
For a long time.
When Nathan finally stood, Eli asked, "Are you coming back tomorrow?"
Nathan thought about every promise people made because children needed certainty.
Then he said the only one he knew he could keep.
"Yes."
He returned at 8:03 the next morning.
Eli was waiting on the porch.
Nathan smiled.
"Told you."
The boy ran toward him.
The next several months were not peaceful.
They were honest.
Which turned out to be much harder.
Nathan and Claire entered marriage counseling.
Some weeks Nathan believed they might survive.
Other weeks he could barely look at her.
He asked questions he hated asking.
Claire answered them anyway.
What exactly happened?
Where?
Did she think about Nathan?
Did Matt contact her later?
Why had she lied?
At times, Nathan wished he had never asked.
But secrets had nearly destroyed them once.
He refused to build whatever remained on another.
Daniel stayed part of Eli's life.
At first Nathan tolerated it.
Then gradually, reluctantly, he began participating.
Daniel had photographs of Matt.
Letters.
Childhood stories.
He gave Nathan copies instead of going directly to Eli.
"I figured you decide what he sees."
Nathan appreciated that more than he admitted.
One afternoon, Daniel brought over an old baseball glove.
"Matt's."
Nathan stared.
"He kept that?"
"Since high school."
Nathan looked at the glove.
Daniel said, "I thought Eli might want it."
Nathan took it.
"I'll give it to him."
Daniel nodded.
He started to leave.
Nathan stopped him.
"Want a beer?"
Daniel looked surprised.
Nathan immediately added, "Don't make it weird."
Daniel smiled.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
They sat in the garage.
For half an hour they said almost nothing.
Then Nathan asked about Matt as a kid.
Daniel laughed.
"You sure?"
"No."
"Good."
Daniel told him anyway.
Matt once crashed their father's riding mower into a mailbox.
Matt failed algebra twice.
Matt wanted to be a firefighter until he discovered the Army would pay him to jump from aircraft.
Nathan laughed.
He had forgotten Matt could exist outside the betrayal.
That frightened him.
Hatred had been easier when Matt was only the man who slept with Claire.
But Nathan had known Matt first as a soldier.
A friend.
A flawed man.
A dead man.
One evening, Eli sat between Nathan and Daniel looking through photographs.
He pointed to one of Matt in uniform.
"He looks like me."
Nathan's heart tightened.
Daniel answered gently.
"Yeah."
Eli looked at Nathan.
"Does that bother you?"
Children again.
Straight toward the wound.
Nathan thought.
"Sometimes."
Eli lowered the photo.
Nathan continued.
"But you looking like Matt doesn't make you less my son."
"What if I want to know about him?"
"You should."
Eli studied him.