Sebastian found me after the hearing: "Clara, I owe you an apology."
I faced him clearly, because old habits had become tenderness. "For the linen remark?"
Sebastian wrote: Especially that. Also for placing you in gossip's path.
I tried to smile. "I tripped into it myself years ago. Gossip and I are intimate enemies."
His smile flickered. "I should not have spoken so personally."
Sebastian wrote: No. Pain touched his eyes.
I hurried on: "But I am not sorry you did."
He went still. The house seemed to hold its breath around us; rain slid silently down the windows. I wondered if he missed the sound of it; I wondered if he saw rain better because sound no longer distracted him; I wondered when I had become the sort of woman who wanted to learn the exact shape of his missing world.
Sebastian lifted his hands and signed slowly: May I court you?
The sign for court was one he had taught me only yesterday, because I had asked whether it resembled the sign for trouble. It did not, officially; in practice, it clearly should have.
I stared at his hands, then at his face. I reminded him, "Your Grace, I am a housemaid."
He signed: I know.
I counted on my fingers: "I drop sheets."
He signed: Often.
I added another count: "I insult employers near reflective objects."
He signed: Fortunately.
I pressed a hand over my mouth, then lowered it so he could read me: "People will say I trapped you."
Sebastian spoke this time: "People said silence made me foolish. They were wrong then, too."
I looked toward the windows. "Your family will object."
Sebastian answered on the slate: The available family is being detained.
I laughed despite the tightness in my chest. He stepped closer, still leaving me room to refuse.
"I've been watched for years by people who wanted my estate and not my voice. You watched me and wanted me to answer. That difference matters to me."
My eyes stung. I kept my voice steady: "I did not want gratitude."
Sebastian wrote back: Neither do I. It is dull company.
I touched the edge of the slate. "I do not want pity."
Sebastian wrote: Good. I have received enough to poison a river.