I've had my service dog Samson for 3 years now. He is an immense help to me because I have multiple sclerosis and some days I have a lot of difficulty moving around. He's able to help me up and steady me, and he's also able to fetch certain items in my home that are in specific places and that he's been trained to get. It's taken us both a lot of work to be where we are at, but after having my amazing golden retriever for this long, I feel extremely blessed by the help and support that he gives me. I don't feel like I need to be so dependent on other people anymore, especially my adult children who have jobs and lives of their own to attend to.



For the most part, the people in my neighborhood all like Samson. They know that they cannot pet or play with him like they would a normal dog that is only a companion animal. But no one has ever minded that. And for the most part, my complex does not have many animals. I'm the only one who has a dog other than a couple down the street who travel most of the time and their toy poodle fits in the woman's handbag.

Other than that, I think a few people have an indoor cat and one man has a budgie. Samson and I take regular walks around our neighborhood and I like to spend time in the backyard, too, just enjoying the sights and sounds of nature. Well, about 6 months ago, a new HOA board member moved into the neighborhood, and she had been giving Samson and me some trouble. It's been a very stressful situation that would not be easy on anyone. However, this stress also exacerbates my illness, and that has been even more difficult to manage.

Karen is someone who is extremely obsessed with aesthetics. She's the type of person who will measure the neighbors' grass to make sure that it is cut within the necessary guidelines and complain if anyone lets their garden grow up a little too much before maintaining it. Overall, Karen is a complete nuisance because she doesn't work outside her home and therefore has far too much time on her hands to give out complaints or threaten people with fines. As far as it goes for my lawn and garden, I have a service who comes in and does all of this for me. So, it seems like Karen needed to find something else to nag me about.

Unfortunately, she decided that Samson would be her target. It seems that Karen hates animals and believes that no one in the HOA should have any. As the other animals are rarely seen, Karen set her sights on Samson because she sees him walk by her home and on the sidewalk each day. One day when I got home from work, there was a letter in my mailbox. The letter was signed by Karen as a member of the HOA.

The letter stated, "On behalf of the HOA, you are being given 10 days to see that your animal is gone from our premises. He is a menace to our community. Not only does he make messes that no one wants to see or smell, his barking is intolerable." The committee also believes that the animal is a threat to public safety in the neighborhood. Should you fail to respect this notice, you will be fined and the Humane Society will be called to get your animal.

In the meantime, your animal is banned from all common areas in our neighborhood as well as from the sidewalks and any other areas where people go. What Karen perhaps did not realize was that she was dealing with someone who had every right to have a service animal. I was also permitted to take him with me anywhere that I went. Never had Samson done anything to anyone to make them feel threatened. Samson is also trained to do his business in the corner of my yard whenever possible.

And I always carry a special tool with me so I can pick up his little gifts and put them in a garbage bag if he needs to go when we are away from home. And even the business he does in my yard is properly disposed of so no one risks smelling or stepping in it. I thought about my options and wrote a letter to the HOA appealing their decision to ban Samson from common areas and asking me to get rid of him. In the letter, I outlined that Samson's vest was not just a decoration. It was something that had been given to him after completing extensive service-dog training and that he was actually trained for my medical needs.

He was not just a mere companion or even an emotional support animal. He was a trained service animal. I went through the lengthy process of getting Samson. After long discussions with my doctor and my therapist, I had to attend training to learn how to work with Samson. I needed to fight the injustice of the HOA, not only for myself, but for anyone else who might ever be in my position.

In my letter, I stated the terms of the Americans with Disabilities Act as well as the Fair Housing Act. I was aware of both of them, and I was not going to lose Samson or my home because Karen didn't like animals or like to be a nuisance. The HOA then called for a hearing, and I was required to attend. I left Samson at home for the meeting, hoping that this gesture of respect would help me get the ban overturned.

"I think this situation can be considered a misunderstanding," I said. "I received the letter about my dog, but nowhere did it acknowledge that Samson is a service animal. The law does not treat him the same way it would a companion animal. I need Samson for my well-being."

"You do not have him with you today," Karen stated.

"No, I do not," I replied. "I left him at home as a gesture of respect while I came here to plead my case. Legally, however, I could have him with me in this common area, and even if you called the Humane Society, they would not be able to remove him."

"Your dog has been described as dangerous," the HOA president said. "Does he wear a muzzle when you are out?"

"No," I answered. "Samson cannot wear a muzzle because he needs his mouth to retrieve items for me. I normally walk him with a harness, but when necessary, I may need to release it so he can perform a task."

"We cannot let a dog run freely around our neighborhood," Karen said, "especially one so large or dangerous."

"Samson is a very friendly dog," I replied. "He is not a danger to anyone's health or safety. This entire situation, however, is damaging my health."

"I have heard him growl in the past," Karen insisted. "That was at an adult. What if it were a child? What if he decided to attack while off his harness, or if the homeowner could not control him because of her supposed medical condition?"

"There is nothing supposed about it," I said. "Take a look at the letter from my doctor." We continued to discuss the situation, but in the end, the HOA board decided to uphold the ban. The fears that Karen had planted in their heads were not easy for me to talk them out of. I left feeling defeated, but knowing that I was still in the right and that I needed to work to keep my autonomy and have Samson help me to go about my daily living anywhere that I wanted in my neighborhood.

When I got home, I reached out to a disability rights lawyer and she told me that I had a case here. My lawyer could tell that I was worried and concerned by the whole situation. While I knew that I was in the right, having to go through with fighting to be accepted with my service dog because I had needs that warranted having Samson with me everywhere was difficult. My lawyer wrote an extremely detailed demand letter demanding that the HOA reconsider, because otherwise we would need to go to court. The letter outlined financial penalties that could reach as high as $150,000 under the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Fair Housing Act.

My lawyer also stated that if the ban was not immediately overturned that under the law there was a potential for personal liability of the board members who voted for the illegal ban since it went against the rules of the law that they should have looked into before upholding this ban. My lawyer asked that I get a formal apology and that all members of the HOA board undergo formal and mandatory training to learn about housing laws and the Americans with Disabilities Act. She stated that they were careless in their actions and had overstepped their roles as a board. The letter from my lawyer put things immediately into action with the HOA. An emergency meeting was called for all members of the HOA, stating that they had to attend regardless of any possible scheduling conflicts.

At the emergency meeting, the ban was overturned. I received a written apology the next day stating that the board had acted hastily out of fear without having all the proper facts or doing a full investigation. I could imagine the panic that they felt knowing how costly keeping the ban could be, not just for their association, but for all of them personally. And Samson was once again welcome to go anywhere in the neighborhood. This made me feel extremely relieved as I'd been limiting the amount of time that I went for a walk or spent outside because of everything that had happened.

I'd also been avoiding the common facilities that everyone in the neighborhood had access to because Samson had not been welcome there. The next month, I learned that Karen had been asked to leave the HOA committee because her actions had put the other members in peril because she had lied about Samson's behaviors just to have her own way and had put everyone in a difficult predicament that could have gotten much worse. Karen had created a situation that had never needed to happen in the first place and had just caused undue stress for everyone involved. And well, I was also asked if I would like to have a seat on the HOA so that I could help to educate the board about any issues that came from things like the Fair Housing Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act. I accepted letting the committee know that I would do my best to support them in any way that I could and that I would do my best to attend all meetings.

However, they were also aware that due to my medical issues, there could be times when I was not well enough to do more than just my regular day's work. And even then, sometimes I had no choice but to call in. I had Samson to help me give a better quality of life, but that didn't mean that my flare-ups didn't complicate my life and give me some days when just walking or moving was a challenge. But even on my worst days, I had Samson by my side. In addition to helping me, he was a source of constant companionship and my cheerleader through any kind of trouble or happiness.

You Want Me to Do the Job That You Fired Me From?

I manage a laboratory. My background is not in the subject studied in this lab, but I know the bare minimum, and it does not get in the way of my job. I worked very hard to get where I am and have become an integral part of the lab. And a few months ago, I was put in a documentation role that also involved dealing with cryogenic storage. Last Friday, a meeting was held with everyone but me, which was strange.

After the fact, a friend on my team told me that during the meeting, everyone was told that I would be taken off this role and it would be given to someone more knowledgeable on the subject. Obviously, this is hurtful and unprofessional of my manager to not speak to me before this. There's more to this story in that someone blamed me for ruining their experiment and doing something I did not do. So instead of talking to me at all, my manager punished me for it and undermined me to the entire team. My manager has still not spoken to me to officially remove me from this role.

Well, towards the end of the day, I received a message from the new untrained person in this role asking me to do it for them. Again, at this point, no one had officially told me it was no longer my role. Oh, and they needed it done soon so another scientist, ironically the one that accused me, would not have to stay past 6:00 p.m. "I will get back to you," I said. I did not. The scientist had to stay several hours longer.

It did not fix the situation, but it felt nice.

Petty Neighbor Pretends I Don't Exist and Blasts Loud Music at 7:30 a.m.

I just moved from a very densely populated suburb to the rural swamplands, where everyone has plots of three acres or more. This is important to establish the physical distance between myself and the issue. The issue is that the family on one side of my land has a plot roughly half my size. My house is at the back left corner of my lot while theirs is curbside on the front right.

I was woken up this morning by a loud banging. I thought someone was knocking hard on my door because it was relentless and loud as hell. So, I get up, get dressed, and walk outside. Nothing. Then I hear the obnoxiously loud bass line of Spanish rap music.

It had the same amateur-sounding beat shared by countless songs: one, two, three, four - boom, boom. Again, our houses are several hundred feet away. There's no excuse for me to be hearing anything from his lot and vice versa. I'd previously tried to introduce myself to these neighbors and well, the father was mowing the lawn a few days ago and I tried to go over to say hi to him. He gave me a dirty look and didn't bother to turn his lawn mower off.

This family already disliked me because my builder had to kick his kids off my land and they had been using it to ride dirt bikes and did not stop even when my home construction began. At one point, they trashed the house with garbage and toilet paper when it was still being framed. The construction crew lost a day's work to it. There are still clear paths from their property to mine where they rode. But this morning, I went to his door, knocked on it to ask him to turn it down, but they ignored me.

So, I took my truck with an upgraded sound system and sub, parked it on our property line, and proceeded to blast Raining Blood by Slayer for 15 minutes. I turned it off 50 minutes ago, and have been enjoying my silence ever since. Guess he does not like my music either.

---

This took place eight years ago when I was buying my first new car. Not just a new to me car. I spent a good amount of time researching the options available both in terms of other models from other manufacturers and option packages on the car in which I was most interested. So I knew exactly what I wanted coming in the door. In 2014, car dealer websites had not quite gotten to the level of borderline bait and switch trickery you see these days.

So, if a dealer's website said they had a particular car on the lot at a particular price, they almost certainly did. There were several in the region that matched what I was looking for, one specifically at my existing dealership. This was not a small dealership. It was one of the largest in the Northern Virginia area for this particular brand. I had a reasonably good experience with their service department overall and figured I would give their sales department a chance to shine.

That was my first mistake. I showed up on a Wednesday after work. It was early June, so with the temperature in the upper 90s, I was dressed in a comfortable but still very presentable combination of a polo shirt and khaki shorts. When I entered the sales side of the dealership, I could see what appeared to be all the sales people in a conference room laughing and joking while taking scissors to the tie of one of the men present. Later, I found out that was a rite of passage after making your first sale.

I waited around for a minute or two as the conference room had glass walls and it would be impossible not to notice me as I'm not exactly a small fellow at six feet six inches tall. When no one came out to greet me, I went up to the receptionist desk and said, "Hi, I'm interested in model of car and there's one in stock I would like to see." Her response without even looking up from her phone was, "Okay." I stood there for another 20 seconds or so and then politely asked, "Would someone be able to show me that car?"

This finally prompted her to look up from her phone. She looked me up and down, scoffed a bit, and said she would go and get someone. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, hoping that things would turn around. That was my second mistake. The receptionist came back with what looked like the youngest, most wet behind the ear salesperson she could find, as evidently I was not worth the time of the more experienced folks.

I explained that I was interested in a car that their website said they had in stock and provided him with the print out showing the stock number, price, and all other pertinent details. It took him a while to find the car on the lot, but after a brief test drive, I knew it was what I wanted and began the sales process. I had a trade-in which had been primarily serviced by them and for which I already had written an offer from CarMax, so I knew how much I should receive for it. He quoted me just over half of that figure. When I pointed out that I could get several thousand more by taking it to the CarMax just up the road and had a written offer from them for that specific amount, he went and got his sales manager who offered to drive me there and pick me up afterwards, but that they wouldn't match what CarMax offered.

I was a bit surprised that they didn't want a nice used car to sell for themselves. It was six years old, top-of-the-line, had reasonable mileage, and had been serviced by that dealership, but once again I gave them more slack than they deserved. When we got to the price, things really fell apart. He quoted me a price that was several thousand higher than what they displayed on their website. When I showed him the printout again with a noticeably lower price, he looked to the sales manager for guidance.

The sales manager immediately said, "The price listed includes all available rebates and special offers, and you may not qualify for all of them." I was now frustrated and showed them printouts from the other dealers in the area that had a similar price shown and said if they weren't willing to honor the price listed on their website, I would just go to the next closest dealer that had that model in stock at that price. His response sealed the deal for me. "Go ahead. Waste your time and go to the competing dealership. We will not hold it against you when you come back here."

I told them, "Okay, thank you for your time. I will go to the competing dealership." Then I got up to leave. No one stopped me and the receptionist said nothing as I walked past her out to the parking lot to drive to the other dealership. When I got to the competing dealership, it was already around 8:00 p.m. as I had spent a fair amount of time at the first dealership and Northern Virginia traffic has never been known for being reasonable.

A salesperson approached me immediately when I entered the dealership. I explained, "I have just come from the first dealership, and I want to buy this particular model. Both dealerships have the car in stock with the options I want, but they would not honor the price shown on their website. If you will, I am ready to sign on the dotted line right now." The salesperson immediately took me to his office, verified that they had the car, and confirmed that the price on their website was accurate and available to me.

We started the process, and when we got to the trade-in, I further explained how the other dealership tried to lowball me on the trade. He said if I could produce a written offer from CarMax for the price I mentioned, they would match it. I gave him that paperwork and without any further discussion, he agreed that they would match that and we moved on to financing. I hadn't gotten this far with the other dealer, but I had already lined up financing through my credit union. He asked if I'd be willing to see if his F&I manager could match or beat that figure.

I agreed to let him try and he came back with a rate that was 50 basis points lower. Needless to say, I was already very happy with these people, but that definitely sealed the deal. Right as I was finishing the paperwork, the salesperson from the first dealer texted me to ask if they would give me the car at that price. I responded back that they would, and I was finishing up the paperwork at that very moment, and he immediately tried to call me and then texted me saying he would give it to me for $500 less. I responded to his text stating that I'd already signed the paperwork and he had lost the sale.

Once the paperwork was complete, the exceptionally pleasant and helpful salesperson at my new dealership spent an additional half hour after the dealership had closed for the night running me through some of the features of the car and showing me how the infotainment system worked. This was completely above and beyond what I expected as I thought I'd just be reading the 300-page user manual to figure it out on my own. I drove home that night with my shiny new car, a very happy camper. And then the next day, I decided to rub a little salt in the wounds of the first dealership. So, I drove there straight from the office.

For context, I work in the banking industry. And at that point, it was still very much business formal dress. I showed up in my suit with my briefcase and had people falling all over themselves trying to help me, including the receptionist, who clearly remembered me midway through my request for the salesperson I had dealt with the previous day. She offered me a seat and asked whether I wanted coffee while she went to get him. I politely said, "No, thank you. I will not be here long." She somewhat quietly, sheepishly responded that she'd be back with that salesperson very shortly. A couple in the waiting area seemed a bit displeased that they had been waiting for a salesperson, but I got one the moment I walked in the door. No more than a minute later, the salesperson and his manager came out. The salesperson recognized me with a look of defeat on his face, shook my hand, and asked how I was today.

Before I had a chance to respond, the sales manager spoke up to introduce himself as if I hadn't spent an hour and a half with him the previous day. After I reminded him that I was there yesterday, and he had said it would be a waste of time to go to the competing dealer because they'd never give me the car I wanted at the price shown on their website, his demeanor very quickly pivoted back to the snotty, insolent person I dealt with the previous day. He proceeded to ask, "Well, did they?" with a bit of sneer. I said nothing, but turned to the side and clicked the remote for my new car so the horn would give a few chirps.

He said, "Good for you," in a rather curt tone and walked away, leaving the poor salesperson on his own. I shook that salesperson's hand, thanked him for his time, and turned around to leave. The receptionist spoke up as I walked past her and asked in a rather chipper voice if I needed any further assistance. I politely responded that no, the other dealership had provided me exactly what I needed, and I was all set.

To make things just that a little bit better, as I passed a couple sitting in the waiting area, I saw them exchange looks with each other that seemed to say, "Perhaps we should go to the dealer I mentioned." I said nothing further. I walked out of the building wearing the smile of a winner.

---

I've been living in the same neighborhood for about 20 years. In that time, I have seen several HOA presidents come and go, each varying in likability and success. One of them was the worst by far. And she seemed to think that being HOA president gave her certain rights over other people, as if suddenly rules did not actually apply to her, and she could wander around and do anything she wanted. The biggest of these things would be to trespass on people's properties.

At first, she would do it under the guise of official business, claiming that trees needed to be inspected or there was an anonymous complaint about gutters. Anything she could make up in order to go where she wouldn't have normally been allowed to. The reasons for this were not always clear, but many times she was seen trying to peer into windows. So, my guess is she was mostly just a nosy person, but harmless. When it came to my land in particular, I started to notice a pattern.

I have a passion for gardening, and in my yard, I have two separate sections for it. In one, I try and plant some vegetables to varying degrees of success. It's one of the newer hobbies, I'll admit, and there is a bit of a learning curve. The other section is where I grow my flowers, and that's the part I'm much better at. I have a beautiful array of roses and tulips that makes me very happy to tend to and see.

I've had many neighbors over the years ask if I would sell them flowers for special occasions, but I always refused. They were never something I wanted to sell or give to other people, just something for myself to enjoy. My husband had his project in the shed and I had my garden. Shortly after the new HOA president started, things in my garden began to seem off. I found flowers trampled, blooms picked outright, vegetables uprooted, and footprints pressed into the dirt. Of course, animals can sometimes damage a garden, but it was clear that a person was doing this. I wanted to keep an eye out despite my suspicion and found that I was correct. The HOA president kept wandering into my garden and picking things as she pleased. After the third time I saw her, I ended up going to talk to her.

I was pretty blunt and just told her that it was not a community garden and it was on my property. She was not allowed to come into my yard or my garden. She especially did not have permission to pick and take what she wanted because nobody was allowed to do something like that. Even my own husband knew better than to go anywhere near them unless I was asking him for help with something. She did not agree with what I told her and instead claimed she had the right to do so.

She claimed that the garden was part of the HOA and therefore had to be open to the community. She also told me that as HOA president, she did not need permission to go onto my property. She could just do so at will. I was not going to let this continue and decided the best course of action was to put up a fence around my garden. This way, nobody could get into it and she would no longer be able to mess around and ruin things.

I ended up picking a black iron fence because I felt like it overall fit with the style of my home. Only a day after it was put up, I had the HOA president in my face, screaming that I had no right to keep the garden away from anybody else, that I was clearly violating HOA laws and she was going to take me to jail. She claimed that when she was finished with me, she was going to own my garden and my home. I did not waste time. I hired a lawyer to defend me against the HOA president and her false claims. I was not sure exactly what part of the rules she was claiming I violated since I never got any official letter in the mail or anything like that, only a lawsuit.

This meant we had to prepare for a bunch of different angles that she might have come at us with. The good news was that the law appeared to be on our side rather than hers. When it came to her going on my property without permission, she obviously had no right. The bylaws did state that the HOA president has the right to go onto properties to check issues that were raised to them. However, this can only be done with 72-hour notice and the reason for them coming.

She had not done any of those things. So, that reason for suing us would go out the window. The fence was a little trickier because I found out there was an entire section just on fencing. She might try and claim that the fence was not allowed because it was not approved in advance by the HOA. Reading deeper, we found that if it came to protecting property and not being used as a personal barrier, such as a property line or decor, then it did not require permission.

We saw some other things in there, but I mentioned these two specifically because it ended up being what the HOA's lawyers tried to use against me in court. The judge ruled that I had done nothing wrong, building my fence on my property and denying the HOA president access to my garden. I had won my case, but I was not done with her yet. I made it sound easy, but the entire process took about a year and a ton of money just to defend myself. I had a strong case for a countersuit, and I was not going to let it go.

She had been caught trespassing, stealing property, destroying property, harassing me, and putting me through the emotional distress of a lawsuit. When the HOA had their case destroyed, it was time for me to go on the offensive. And it didn't take long for them to become afraid. I had pictures showing the damage she had done as well as her claims of having a right to be in the garden. Some of those claims came directly from her lawsuit against me, which meant she could not simply reverse her story without exposing herself to serious consequences for misleading the court. I presented photographs of the destroyed flowers and explained how long they had taken to grow. I described how I had asked her to stop, how she refused, and how she continued insisting that she could do anything she wanted. I also described the stress of a year-long lawsuit that never needed to happen because she should have known I had broken no rules. I won my countersuit against her and the HOA owed me a significant amount of money.

Most of it went to my lawyer and the rest was just enough for me to get my garden back on track. About 2 months later, she stepped down from her position after other neighbors threatened to also sue for trespassing. To my knowledge, she was the shortest-serving HOA president in my time living in this neighborhood. Like I said before, we had seen some unlikable presidents in the past, but she had beaten all of them by a long shot. I hope what she did is a lesson to others that want to take the position that they cannot just do anything they want. And if they try, somebody living there is not going to let them get away with it.

Take Off My Earphones While You Are Speaking to Me - Sure, No Problem, Officer

This happened this morning. Even though I made a complete stop at a four-way intersection, a police vehicle pulled me over. The lights were flashing, the whole routine. I turned my dashcam around so it faced me and whoever approached the driver's-side window. I rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

The officer looked at me the way one would look at a sticky piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. "You didn't make a complete stop," he said. I adjusted one of my hearing aids. I had lost part of my hearing while working as a touring session musician. And before he could continue, he firmly ordered, "Sir, take off your earphones when I'm talking to you."

So I took both hearing aids off and looked at him. I could read lips a little, but we were both masked, so I could not understand what he was saying. I signed while speaking aloud and said, "I'm deaf and I didn't understand what you just said. Can you communicate to me in ASL, please?"

He pointed at my hearing aids, which looked like AirPods, and motioned for me to put them back on. I responded, "Yes, officer. Without those, I can only communicate in ASL. Please instruct me in ASL, and I will be compliant in every way possible."

He looked at the dashcam, which was pointed squarely at us, and mumbled, "For heaven's sake." Then he motioned for me to go, giving me two thumbs up. Needless to say, I rolled up the window and drove away as fast as legally allowed. I could not wipe the smile off my face all day.