The work would be difficult. Arctic conditions, limited communication with the outside world during rotations, physical and mental stress. But I had worked brutal construction jobs my entire adult life. This was just more money for the same kind of challenges.
I told Presley about the offer that night, expecting her to be excited. We had talked about how tight money was, how frustrating it was to work full-time and still feel financially unstable. This was the solution.
Her response: "4 months. You would be gone for 4 months at a time."
"Yeah, but I would have a full month off between rotations. We could travel during those months, see places we have only talked about. And the money would change everything. We could actually build something instead of just surviving paycheck to paycheck."
She didn't look at the numbers I had pulled up on my laptop. She didn't ask about the career trajectory, or what it could lead to.
She just said, "I cannot do 4 months alone, Gare. That is too long."
I spent the next week trying to help Presley see the opportunity the same way I did. Not pushing, just laying out the facts like I would with a construction proposal.
"Look at this." I showed her the budget I had mapped out. "2 years, and we are debt-free. Completely. Your student loans, my student loans, credit cards, everything. After that, we are just accumulating wealth. We could buy a house outright, no mortgage. Think about what that means for our stress levels, our options, our future."
She looked at the spreadsheet for maybe 10 seconds.
"I don't care about being debt-free 2 years from now. I care about being alone for 4 months at a stretch."
"You wouldn't be alone. You would be in the apartment. You could invite friends over whenever you wanted, have the space to yourself, and I would be back for an entire month. Most people don't get a month of vacation time."
"It is not the same."
"What if we got a dog?" I offered, trying to find solutions. "Something to keep you company, give you a reason to get out and walk every day."
"I don't want a dog, Gare. I want my boyfriend."
"I would still be your boyfriend. Just because I am working doesn't change that."
She went quiet for a moment, then said something that should have ended it right there.
"You are asking me to put my life on hold for 4 months at a time so you can go make money. That is not fair to me."