Instead, I have banked enough money to retire at 40 if I want to. I have seen places most people only dream about. I have built friendships with people who share my values about independence and intentional living.
Through Derek, I heard the details of Presley's life. Still working the same administrative job, still renting.
The real estate agent boyfriend lasted 6 months before she realized he wasn't ambitious enough. She is dating someone new now, a middle manager at a tech startup who is "nice but not as driven as I would like," according to Derek's summary.
She is not unhappy, from what I can tell. But she is also not growing. She is living the same life she was living 3 years ago, just with different people filling the same roles.
Meanwhile, I am in New Zealand planning my next rotation. The consortium wants me in South America this time, overseeing a hydroelectric project in Chile. Another 4 months, another massive check, another opportunity to see parts of the world most people will never access.
After Chile, I am thinking about taking a full year off. I have got enough saved now that I don't need to work again if I don't want to.
Maybe I will get a graduate degree. Maybe I will start consulting for projects I find interesting. Maybe I will just travel until I get bored and want to go back to building things.
The point is, I have options. Options I wouldn't have if I had stayed with someone who valued her comfort over our collective potential.
People ask if I regret the breakup. The question doesn't make sense to me.
Regret implies I lost something valuable. But what I lost was an anchor attached to a sinking ship. You don't regret cutting yourself loose before you drown.
Sometimes I wonder if Presley regrets it. If she thinks about the life she could have had if she had been willing to tolerate 4 months of distance for massive financial gain and the freedom that comes with it. If she calculates what it cost her to prioritize immediate comfort over delayed gratification.
But that is her calculation to make, not mine.
Final status: debt-free, property owner, financially independent, living intentionally. No regrets. No interest in reconnecting with people who tried to leverage relationships for control.
Some foundations are too weak to build on. Better to identify that early and start fresh on solid ground.