I managed to ask. No, that's not it at all. I love you and want to stay married, but I think we should consider opening up our relationship. An open marriage would be good for both of us. We could explore other connections while still maintaining what we have together.
She kept talking about how she'd been researching it online and how lots of couples do it successfully. Britney had apparently told her about some couples she knew who had open marriages and were so much happier than traditional couples. But then she added, "Besides, it's not like our current situation is exactly thrilling anymore. Maybe some outside perspective would help us both grow up and figure out what we actually want. The whole time I'm sitting there thinking this feels like a script she's been practicing with her friend group, complete with little digs at me, disguised as relationship advice."
When I asked if there was someone specific she had in mind, she hesitated just long enough to tell me everything I needed to know. No, I just want the freedom to explore if the opportunity arises. God, you're so paranoid. Can a woman want something for herself without you making it about your insecurities? That pause was louder than anything she actually said.
Here's where I surprised even myself. Instead of losing my mind or trying to talk her out of it, I said, "Okay." The look on her face was priceless, like she'd been gearing up for World War II, and I just handed her a white flag. "Really?" she said. "Really?"
I said. "If that's what you think our marriage needs, let's try it." The next morning, Amanda left for work practically skipping. She actually said, "I'm proud of you for being so mature about this." Like she was my mom congratulating me for not throwing a tantrum.
I went to the shop, but couldn't focus on anything. During lunch break, I did something I hadn't done since college: I downloaded dating apps. Not just one, but three of them. If we were playing this game, I was going to play it right. But honestly, I wasn't just jumping into dating to spite Amanda.
I realized that if our marriage was heading south, I needed to get my own life together. So, I started making some changes. The first thing I did was hit the gym. I'd been meaning to get back in shape for years. And suddenly, I had all this nervous energy that needed somewhere to go.
I started going after work before heading home, lifting weights and running on the treadmill. It felt good to focus on something I could control. Weekends became all about the Impala. Instead of trying to squeeze in time with Amanda, who was clearly not interested and would just make snide comments anyway, I'd spend entire Saturdays and Sundays in the garage. It was therapeutic, and I was making real progress on the restoration.
I also started hanging out with my buddies more. Troy, Chris, and Bruno had been asking me to join their poker nights for months, and I finally started going. Bruno, my Mexican best friend since high school, immediately called me out when I showed up to the first game looking like hell. Dude, you look like someone ran over your dog with your own truck, Bruno said, dealing cards. What's Amanda got you doing now?
When I explained the open marriage situation, Bruno nearly choked on his drink. Wait, wait, wait. She basically said, I want to bang other guys, but keep you around for emotional support and mortgage payments, and you said yes, bro. You're either playing 4D chess or you've completely lost your mind. Setting up the dating profiles was weird as hell.
How do you write married guy looking for something casual without sounding like a complete creep? Turns out there are way more people interested in that setup than I expected. Apparently, Dallas is full of people who want connection without the commitment. My first few dates were complete disasters. There was Emma, a yoga instructor who spent the entire dinner talking about her spiritual journey and chakra alignment.
Then Victoria, who seemed normal until she started showing me photos of her three cats and explaining their personalities in disturbing detail. But here's the thing. I wasn't just having fun. I was preparing my exit. My marriage was already over once Amanda asked to open it.
So during that time, while she was enjoying this new experience, I got to work. After that second train wreck of a date, I spent the next few days quietly moving money around. I opened a separate checking account and started having part of my paycheck deposited there. I made copies of all our financial documents, insurance policies, and property records. I also called my buddy Ryan, who'd gone through a nasty divorce two years earlier.