And now you're just another one of them, aren't you? Just another guy who thinks she's so special. So, let me get this straight, I said. "You asked for an open marriage so you could see other people, but you're mad that I'm actually seeing someone." "I didn't think you'd find someone like her," she said.
And there it was, the truth finally coming out. I thought you'd maybe find some desperate woman who'd be grateful for whatever attention she could get from a married man. Someone like what? Someone who actually seems to enjoy my company. Someone who appreciates the things I'm passionate about instead of calling them stupid.
Amanda's face crumpled, but then the anger came back stronger. Someone better than me? Is that what you're saying? You think you're too good for me now because some college princess is slumming it with you? I stared at her for a long moment.
This isn't what I had in mind when we agreed to open the marriage, I said, throwing her earlier words back at her. This is different, she protested. You're supposed to be exploring, not replacing me. And definitely not with someone who's going to make me look pathetic by comparison. How?
How is it different? She couldn't answer because there was no answer. She'd expected me to fail at this while she got to explore whatever she wanted. The idea that I might actually find someone amazing, especially someone she knew and had always been insecure about, had never occurred to her. In her mind, I was supposed to be grateful for whatever scraps of attention she threw my way while she had her fun.
That's when she spilled it. She'd been seeing Rick, a coworker, for 2 months before she even brought up the open marriage idea. They'd been flirting, and she knew she wanted to pursue it, but didn't want to be a cheater. The whole open marriage conversation had been her way of getting permission for something she was already emotionally invested in. Besides, she added, like this somehow made it better.
Rick actually appreciates me. He doesn't spend all his time playing with cars like some teenager. He has real ambitions and goals. I felt this weird calm settle over me, like when you finally figure out what's wrong with an engine that's been running rough. Well, that changes things.
She'd essentially been having an emotional affair and then manipulated me into agreeing to an arrangement that legitimized it. When she tried to argue that she hadn't technically done anything wrong, I cut her off. The boundaries were crossed before they were even established. I told her and left the room. That's when I decided it was the time.
The next morning, I called my lawyer and set up a consultation. Within a week, I had my ducks in a row. I played it cool for another 2 weeks, acting like everything was normal while the lawyer prepared the paperwork. Amanda seemed to think we'd work through her Rick revelation with some counseling and boundary adjustments. First, she begged me to stop seeing Valyria.
Then, she suggested we dial back the open marriage and focus on rebuilding our connection. I think we've both learned some valuable lessons, she said. Maybe we rushed into this too fast. I'm willing to be more understanding about your needs if you can be more mature about mine. I nodded along.
The lawyer was impressed with how thoroughly I'd prepared. Most guys come in here after their wife has already cleaned them out. He said, "You're way ahead of the game." Bruno's reaction when I told him my plan. So, you're going full John Wick, but with divorce papers instead of guns, my man, you're about to serve her papers colder than a margarita in December.
On a Thursday morning, while Amanda was getting ready for work, the process server knocked on our door. Amanda answered in her bathrobe, probably expecting a delivery. Instead, she got handed divorce papers. Her scream could probably be heard three houses down. What the hell is this?