Health 03/09/2025 14:44

Woman shares ’embarrassing’ symptoms she regrets hiding from doctors as she’s diagnosed with incurable cancer


At just 45 years old, Jenny Duncan is bravely sharing the deeply personal story of her battle with bowel cancer — and the painful regret she carries for not speaking up about her symptoms sooner. Her reason? She felt too “embarrassed” to talk openly about what she was experiencing, especially when it involved something as taboo as bowel movements.

Jenny first began noticing unusual symptoms in 2019 while she was vacationing in Lanzarote. But at the time, she brushed them off. A fit, healthy, and active woman, Jenny never imagined something serious could be lurking beneath the surface.

Back home in the UK, she was starting a new role as a head teacher — a job that brought both excitement and stress. So when she experienced stomach pain and spotted blood on the toilet paper, she assumed it was nothing more than a byproduct of work-related pressure.

Despite the concerning signs, Jenny didn’t seek medical help. She explained, “I thought I was just under a lot of stress. It didn’t even cross my mind that it could be cancer — I was young, active, and had no major health problems.”

Still, she began taking discreet photos of the blood in her stool to monitor what was happening. One night, while lying in bed with her husband Stuart, he happened to see one of the photos and was immediately alarmed.

“He said, ‘What on Earth? We need to get you some help.’ And because he’s always so calm and rational, the urgency in his voice made me realize this wasn’t something I could ignore anymore,” Jenny recalled.

It was only after his gentle but firm intervention that Jenny booked a doctor’s appointment. The news was devastating: she was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer.

“I couldn’t believe it,” she said. “I was only 45, and I’d always thought bowel cancer was something that happened to older men. It just didn’t seem possible.”

She had also experienced other subtle symptoms — frequent bloating, gas after meals, and extreme fatigue — but she chalked them up to her demanding job and long work hours. “I’d come home late and jump right back into emails or marking papers. I thought exhaustion was just part of being a dedicated teacher,” she said.

What held her back from seeking help earlier was embarrassment. “I felt too uncomfortable talking about poo. It’s not something people like to discuss, especially with a doctor. I hoped the symptoms would just go away on their own.”

Looking back, Jenny wishes she had listened to her body and spoken up sooner. “I really do regret not going to the doctor straight away. I could kick myself for letting it go on for so long. I just didn’t know that bowel cancer could affect someone in their 40s.”

“If I had known my own body better, if I had paid attention and pushed past the embarrassment — would things be different now? I don’t know. But it’s something I’ll always carry with me.”

Jenny began chemotherapy just as the COVID-19 pandemic was sweeping across the UK. That meant she had to undergo treatment and surgery completely alone, without her husband or children by her side.

“It was terrifying. Sitting in a hospital ward, hooked up to machines, not knowing what was coming next — and doing it all without loved ones around was incredibly hard,” she said.

Though the initial treatment appeared successful and the tumor disappeared, Jenny received heartbreaking news in 2022: the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and was now considered incurable.

“I absolutely lost it,” she admitted. “I was sobbing uncontrollably, telling Stuart, ‘I’m going to die, I’m going to die.’ I shut down and didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone for days.”

Eventually, Jenny found the strength to return to her job and reconnect with her two adult sons, finding joy in daily life despite the difficult road ahead.

Now living with stage 4 bowel cancer, Jenny undergoes scans every three to six months to monitor her condition. If her cancer worsens, she will resume treatment.

“I don’t take a single day for granted anymore,” she said. “Every morning I wake up is a gift. I try to focus on what I can do, not what I can’t.”

Jenny now uses her voice to raise awareness about the importance of paying attention to bodily changes and pushing past the stigma around discussing symptoms — especially when it comes to bowel health.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t delay. If something feels wrong, talk to your doctor. It could save your life,” she urges.

According to the Mayo Clinic, common symptoms of bowel (colorectal) cancer include changes in bowel habits, blood in the stool, persistent abdominal pain or discomfort, a feeling of incomplete emptying after a bowel movement, fatigue, and unexplained weight loss.

Jenny’s story is a powerful reminder that cancer doesn’t care about age, appearance, or fitness — and that silence can be deadly.

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