"You're overreacting. Just because I cheated doesn't mean I can't stay at your apartment," my ex mocked while flashing a ring from another man.
Two police reports, one stolen car charge, and one restraining order later, karma showed her what overreacting really means.
So, I, Patrick, 32 male, have been with Minerva, 28 female, for 2 years.
She moved into my place about 6 months ago, and I say "my place" because she never paid rent, never chipped in for bills, not even groceries most of the time.
She called it "our home," but the mortgage and utilities said otherwise.
I didn't mind at first. She had a rough patch with jobs that apparently lasted 400 days straight.
Anyway, that night started normal. I came home from work and she was acting weirdly happy, like humming while setting the table.
There were candles, her fancy pasta recipe, even that Walmart-bought tiramisu she saves for special occasions.
For a second, I thought maybe she got a new job or a raise. She'd been complaining about her boss all week, so I figured it was good news.
She sits down all smiles and goes, "I have something to tell you."
I'm thinking, "Cool, finally some progress."
Then she slides her left hand across the table, flashing a cheap diamond ring I've never seen before.
"I'm engaged," she says like she's announcing a vacation. "Landon proposed yesterday."
At first, I just stared, then blinked, then stared again. I'm not proud of it, but I honestly thought she was joking. I even laughed.
"Engaged to who?"
"Landon," she says, smiling like she just won a prize. "We've been seeing each other for a while. I didn't want to tell you until it was official."
So, I'm sitting there with a fork in my hand, looking at the ring, then at her face, then back at the ring. My brain was buffering like an old computer.
Finally, I managed, "You're engaged to someone else while living in my house?"