Deep down, I felt jealous and betrayed. I questioned if her affair with Jason was driven by an insatiable desire she needed to satisfy. Maybe Jason was the easiest option for her because he was readily available. I wish it had been someone outside our close circle; it wouldn't have made it any easier, but it wouldn't have been someone my son considers his best friend and who's so close to our family.
The next day, my son's girlfriend left, and I had a chance to talk to my son. Although we didn't delve into many details, he didn't ask why we were separating; he just wanted to know how I was coping. I knew he had been talking to my daughter based on the way he asked his questions.
About a day later, my wife finally emerged from her sorrow. She looked like she had been crying a lot, with swollen eyes, unkempt hair, and appearing as though she hadn't showered for days. That evening, both of us ate the dinner my daughter had prepared, but we sat at opposite ends of the dining table. I felt like I should be the one hurt and crying with swollen eyes, while my wife should be the one on her knees begging for forgiveness. Instead, I felt alone, carrying the heavy burden of not being able to tell my kids about her affair. My kids seemed more concerned about my wife's well-being because she appeared to be taking it really hard. Normally, she's the life of the party, always cheerful, making everyone feel welcome and cared for; she's very nurturing and caring. Don't get me wrong, I'm deeply hurt by this, but I've become skilled at hiding it and pretending that everything is okay.
The following day, my wife asked if we could go to a restaurant we both like to talk. I didn't really want to because I was still hurt by her affair, but considering the tension between us and the kids, I felt like we needed to break the ice. If we were going to separate, which was the plan, it should be done amicably.
We shared the same car and didn't engage in much conversation during the ride. Upon our arrival, and as we took our seats, she immediately began by expressing her apologies. She acknowledged that she was sorry for all the pain she had caused me and for betraying my trust. She mentioned that she had been so embarrassed and ashamed that she didn't want to leave our room. She admitted to being selfish, driven by instinct without considering the consequences for those she loves. She emphasized her deep love for me and her desire to spend the rest of her life with me. She revealed that she hadn't truly comprehended the extent of the pain she had inflicted until she was discovered.