As she shared all this information, which she had never disclosed to me before, I felt bewildered and guilty. I wondered if knowing earlier might have led me to seek male enhancement medication to match her desires. When I asked her why she hadn't told me all this before, she said she had mentioned it several times, albeit not in great detail, dropping hints along the way. She felt that I had already withdrawn from our intimacy. She pointed out that I was only interested in intimacy one to two times a week, while she craved it at least once a day. She mentioned the times I had denied her intimacy and how she had often been the one initiating it.
She clarified that she wasn't trying to blame me, acknowledging that her sexual desire was the one that deviated from the norm. She wanted to work on herself because she recognized that I was already going through a lot.
After our conversation at the restaurant, my anger had somewhat subsided. I had a sense of my wife's silent struggles, realizing she might have a borderline obsession with intimacy and had been trying to manage her desires. Although I had always known about this, I hadn't taken it seriously because she hadn't always been this way. She wasn't being dishonest when she claimed to have tried to communicate her needs to me, but I had dismissed her concerns, thinking it was just a passing phase. I even knew she had some toys, but I hadn't cared much since I was getting intimacy when I wanted it.
I recognized that my mindset was somewhat selfish, and I should have paid more attention to her desires. I felt that she might be dealing with some form of illness and had been struggling with it. It was somewhat relieving to understand her perspective, but regardless of her state of mind, what she had done was wrong. She had broken our marriage vows, and I believe there should be consequences.
However, at this point, I began to question my decision to divorce my unfaithful wife. Feeling the need to talk to someone, I scheduled an appointment with my therapist.