**Help, I didn't make it to OKC:**
Drove enough for one day. I'm in Tulsa at a Holiday Inn Express. I had a very tasty dinner. There's a bar across the street; looks like a redneck joint. I'm envisioning Budweiser, jukebox full of country music, pool tables. I'm heading over there in a few minutes.
I emailed the whole family; said I'm fine, don't worry, I just had to go, I'll be back when I'm ready. Got responses from each. My kids are all very worried, but I assure them I'm fine. My wife says she's worried sick and she wants to call. I said in the email I didn't want to talk to any of them on the phone, so I'm not calling.
I also turned off my location services; I want to be off the grid. Still many miles to go. By Saturday, I want to take a walk by the seawall in Mission Bay in San Diego.
I just feel like none of this matters. The things that were most important to me in life turned out to be illusions. I was a good husband and father; I took pride in that. I defined my life by it. Now I don't know who I am. Obviously not the husband and father I thought. Maybe I'll find out who I am, maybe not. I'm starting to believe I can never again be who I was. He left, and I can't find him.
Sorry for the babbling. I think I've lost my mind. Oh well, off to some cold beer, friendly conversation, and who knows? No plan in this ride. Have a good night.
---
**I made it:**