She then said she'd do whatever I wanted—answer any question, leave if I ask—but kept assuring me that I'm her everything, and that once she realized how stupid she was being, she's never even once thought about cheating on me for a second since it ended.
The man she cheated with is no longer alive. They didn't love each other, but had convinced themselves that this physical outlet from their marriages made them better spouses.
What devastates me is that my daughters are not my biological children. They are also devastated; they want to know details about this man since he's their real father, and that also kills me. They both assure me that I'm their father and they love me with all their hearts, but we all know I'm not their father—the other man was. It's also worth noting that until this DNA test, my wife also never knew for sure.
What devastates me is that the woman I held in the highest regard as far as love, respect, esteem, etc., carried on an affair for years. The woman that has loved me and honored me for decades also betrayed me.
What devastates me is the question: was my whole adult life to this point a lie? Was my entire marriage a lie? Is nothing real in this world? She has been an amazing wife and partner. I've had zero complaints my entire marriage, even when she was cheating.
What devastates me is this man died a few years ago of cancer, and that I can't go talk to him man-to-man and possibly punch his lights out.
What devastates me is that I was her first and only. I had only one previous teenage, awkward quickie in the back seat of a car with a former girlfriend before my wife, but that was it for me. Now I find out she was having regular sex with this man for years. How can I get over that?
This all happened pretty recently. Next month is our 33rd anniversary, and I just don't know what to do. I asked her to leave, and she has been staying with her sister and her husband. She is absolutely devastated; so am I.
Everyone I've talked with about this says that I've had an amazing life with my wife. She's a great wife and mother; she made a horrible mistake when she was very young, and to not let this ruin us. I get that over and over. And logically, I know that's all true, but my heart right now is not being logical.