Then the bombshell: they said they compared results, and that the oldest two children are not my kids; the youngest is. They asked if we had anything to tell them. I said of course not, there has to be a mistake.
I looked over at my wife and knew in an instant there was no mistake. She had a look of terror on her face like I've never seen before. All at once, this calm, level-headed, wonderful woman I've been married to for 33 years screamed out some kind of gibberish, then ran for the bedroom and locked the door. We all tried to get her to come out, but to no avail.
We're all freaking out at this point. She immediately texts our phones and asks that we all leave her alone for a couple of hours to compose herself, and then reconvene at the table and she'll join us. We did as she requested, but I'll tell you what: that two hours felt like a lifetime, and my brain was on overload as to what the hell was going on.
I still figured this had to be some kind of mistake. Of course the girls were mineβwhose else would they be? My wife and I weren't partiers or swingers; we're Disney Channel people, not Cinemax.
She comes out at about the two-hour mark and asks the kids if they could please go, and that she needed to talk to me alone, and that she'd be sure to let them know what's going on as soon as she can. They protested vehemently, but respected her request and left, saying they'll be back if they don't hear something soon.
I'm sitting there, just blown away at this point, like this isn't realβlike I'm watching a movie, except that I'm in the movie.
She then tells me something that has caused a permanent change in me. (I hope not permanent, but it feels permanent.) She looks me straight in the eyes and says my name.
"I had an affair many years ago. It was with one of our neighbors and friends from the same social circle at the time. It went on for about four years until I wised up and realized what a wonderful husband I had, and that I needed to grow up and stop acting stupid."
Then she put her hands on my cheeks to pull me in, and still looking in my eyes, said: "You are my everything. I am your girl for life. I love you with all my heart. I did a very stupid and selfish thing many years ago. You did nothing wrong; you've been the best husband any woman could ever ask for. And I hope we try to put this in perspective and recognize what a wonderful life we've had together, and that we don't want this stupid, hurtful mistake to ruin it."